I’ve re-written this post a dozen times and haven’t been able to accurately put my thoughts into words (yet).
But here goes another shot.
I am leaving the blogosphere and vlogosphere, because my husband and I want to have a family.
I started blogging because I wanted to share “my Japan” with y’all – this new country that I was studying abroad in (and later moved to) and because I wanted to share my cross-cultural marriage. There were a lot of growth pains in both in the beginning, and I found it much more fun to manage if I was “documenting” it.
So when I messed up (because I always messed up) it was a learning experience, not a personal failure.
This helped a lot.
And inspired me to try my hardest.
I wrote about a lot of things. Like:
- How to use a coin laundry place in Japan (after I moved into my first apartment -ever, in Japan nonetheless- and spent the first two weeks washing my clothes in a bathtub until my boyfriend came over to show me how to use the coin laundry place down the street).
- Or how to do Japanese onsen (after a disasterous first time in Hokkaido, so others didn’t share my memorable and terrifying experience).
- Or being in my first (real) long distance relationship and trying to make it work (because I loved my boyfriend enough to think that we could beat the odds, us being in a cross-cultural relationship AND a long distance once, all the way across Japan with me in Tokyo and him in Akita).
- Or finally tying the knot, when we did make it work (magically).
- Or what to wear to a wedding in Japan (after my husband’s mother literally blocked me from going on the door in the normal outfit I wear to people’s weddings, saying that it was inappropriate. Luckily his sister had a dress for me to borrow – which was a size to small, so I kept running to the bathroom every hour to unzip it for a while and just BREATHE)
- Or how to eat Sukiyaki, when I had the dish for the first time ever, during Ryosuke and my first time skiing together.
- Or my favorite convenience store (コンビニ) food in Japan.
- Or my first time spending the night at a manga cafe, because I couldn’t afford a hotel (those good old broke student days) and very much regretting not bringing earplugs.
- Or recently, when I was a contestant on Japanese ninja warrior (sasuke 32), and am STILL in the best shape of my life.
And I wrote a bit about my boyfriend. And even more about him, after he proposed and became my fiance. And even more, once he became my husband.
I love to go back and read my old posts, to read the things I wrote when we were dating and when I was living in Tokyo for the first time.
Along the way, Ryouske joined me in blogging and making videos.
We became even closer. Things were good. Great. I’d even go so far as to say that things were pretty darn “Fantastic.”
I achieved everything I wanted to, when I first got into blogging (and WAY more!). And for that, I have nothing but thanks.
But as we’ve both put on a couple of years… I realized I can’t keep following the “why I got into YouTube/blogging” and still think about the future I want, with a family and kids.
Which I know might seem like a really odd reason to walk away.
But here’s the thing: children can’t consent. Or at least, not really.
And I think it’s unfair to document someone’s life without their permission and kids (ESPECIALLY babies) can’t give that kind of consent, because they are too tiny to fully understand the implications of what happens when your life is documented online. This is a weird personal choice that Ryosuke and I have always agreed on, and I know it’s not a popular one.
There’s a difference between over-sharing your own life (as a somewhat responsible “adult”) and choosing to over-share someone else’s life (who is tiny and has no idea what is going on).
To clarify: we don’t really care if anyone else does this – but WE don’t want to do it.
So we’re quitting and transitioning back into regular employment.
And in return, we promise to be the best parents we can possibly be. We will love these upcoming children unconditionally (still have our sights set on four of them but I guess only time will tell) and shower them with so much love and affection, like how each of us was raised.
For more about our decisions to quit:
Well first of all, we’re shutting down the Patreon account we had open this last year. We will also be taking a year-long break from blogging, Twitter, and Facebook (starting next week or so).
And for jobs?
Ryosuke has done a bit of job hunting this last month and might have a job lined up to start in January (I’m still looking).
We’re sad to leave all of this… but feeling positive about the future.
Grace and Ryosuke
PS – I never was able to get those comments up and working again but thank you to everyone who sent me emails offering suggestions. After contacting WordPress.org support, I found out I needed to edit the source code (?) of my blog which was something I didn’t feel comfortable doing (I’ve broken my blog far too many times already). So closed they will remain.
If you want to chat, you can always reach me at Texan.Tokyo@gmail.com
I will be slower responding to emails, of course, but will still try to reply to everyone.