I (still) get hate mail because I married someone who isn’t white

We all know the internet is full of strange, unhappy lurkers who pop up every once in awhile to spew hate and then disappear back into the folds of the internet.

I got my first horrifically racist comments during my second month of blogging.  I had been expecting something like that to happen (especially as my blog grew steadily bigger) so it wasn’t too surprising. I glanced over the comment, deleted it, and then headed to class.

I was a bit hurt but not surprised. And I tried to put it out of my head. For the next couple of months as my blog steadily grew more popular, I’d get a new racist comment or email like this a couple times a month. I quickly learned how to ban people based on the IP address.

After a while, the comments stopped hurting. Or, that’s not quite true. They still hurt. They will always hurt – I allow myself to feel hurt for a second or two, take a deep breath, and move on. It’s not feasible to tell people “don’t get hurt by criticism,” it’s better to teach people how to move on from the pain. But I guess that’s a whole other post…?

I learned how to recognize them from a mile away (common indicators are EVERYTHING IN CAPS LIKE THIS or swear words) and never allowed myself to actually read them (because what good can that possible do?). Even with these rules in place, the pretty regular onslaught of racist remarks made my stomach queasy. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. For someone to come up to us and not just say something, but act out any number of the violent threats we received over the internet.

And it was hard to talk to friends about this because the general consensus was “Wait, is that still a thing? Do people still have a problem with interracial dating?”

The short answer is yes.

A very, very tiny percent of the population gets personally offended when “one of their own” marries outside “the group.”

And before you think white, American men have a monopoly on xenophobic and racist ideologies, we get the same emails and comments from xenophobic Japanese internet lurkers too, furious my husband has tainted the bloodline.

I wish I was joking. I really do.

The worst comments aren’t the truly vile, ugly, hate-spewing ones, believe it or not. Those were the ones that made me fear for my safety in the beginning, before I realized that most of the writers were all talk and no action. These types of comments can be shocking and hurtful but in the end they are easy to delete because the writers are completely un-relate-able.

No, the hardest comments are from the people who don’t threaten or swear. They seem completely normal, like any other commentor. They don’t have KKK emblems on their online avatar or an offensive screen-name and they don’t swear or threaten. In fact, they’re almost apologetic in their racism, writing things like:

“I’m sorry, you two seem okay together but I really think you would smile more if you had married an American instead.”


“I think you’re so beautiful and smart and funny and I’m so sad your future kids will be ugly because they will be mixed race. That’s such a shame.”


“I see how you love your wife but your parents must be so heartbroken that they won’t have a good Japanese daughter-in-law.”


“Please don’t get mad at me but I think you would be a better looking couple if your husband didn’t have slanty eyes.”

These comments are so difficult to stomach because the writer isn’t trying to attack me -they’re determined to try and “save” me. Or Ryosuke. From our “disastrous, ugly, tainted, interracial marriage.”

They slip right under the radar and attack.

Comments are like gifts left on your doorstep.

Most of them are beautiful and full of precious words of encouragement, love, and respect. Their wrapping paper is gorgeous and you can’t wait to open them up to see what’s inside. They make your house a brighter and better place.

Every once in awhile, you will find a lit bag of dog feces on your front doorstep. Those are the trolls spewing hate from doorstep to doorstep, rarely stopping long enough to watch you open the door (or coming back to deliver  another “package”) and they’re easy to pick up with a shovel and drop in the outside garbage can. Your front doorstep might stink for a couple of minutes but soon after all traces are gone.

Secret, almost apologetic, racists create gifts that look lovely on the outside, so you pick it up and bring it inside, eager to engage with someone. Except when you open the package, it’s full of killer wasps who sting you and hide in the corners of your house for days, jumping out to sting you when your guard is down. Eventually you track them down and get rid of them all but it can take days.

These apologetic racists’ words stick in my head and pop up when I’m trying to sleep. Or when I’m feeling down. I hate how I accidentally let them slip in (but the only alternative is banning comments on all my platforms – something I’m not ready to do).

And I hate it.

It doesn’t matter what we say or do or post or draw, there will always be people out there who oppose our relationships because they think races and ethnicities shouldn’t mix.

They might be sad or offended I married someone who isn’t a white American like me or that Ryosuke started a family with someone who isn’t Japanese – but I am furious they would be so utterly stupid as to think the only “successful” marriages and “beautiful children” come from couples of the same race, social class, and country.

About Grace Buchele Mineta

I got into the writing business by accident. Now I live in the countryside near Tokyo with my husband, Ryosuke, where I draw comics, blog, and make videos about our daily life. Contact: Website | More Posts

198 Comments on I (still) get hate mail because I married someone who isn’t white

  1. Tomusnr // 5 June, 2016 at 11:12 am //

    You two are very beautiful looking couple

  2. duckhunter1 // 5 June, 2016 at 10:47 am //

    I would say blacks hate biracial marriages. Thats my experience and I am half chinese and half british welsh scottish and english

    • Tomusnr // 5 June, 2016 at 11:09 am //

      Your 100% correct about if you find one in a in a interracial relationship it’s because they are very shallow

      • duckhunter1 // 5 June, 2016 at 11:14 am //

        and still hateful and I have to tell my half black kids there black to protect them

  3. Yeah, people be haters at times. These comments are laughable at the intense ignorance these people still harbor (for whatever reason — don’t any better?), it’s truly only sad to know that they want to try to bring you down to their BS level, it would be nice if they kept that stuff to themselves, but hey, welcome to the internet. Keep your head up boss, you got this! You’re a champion, keep reinforcing that to yourself, and these will continue to get easier and easier to take as time goes on, until they truly don’t hurt, but it’s a process of success.

  4. Just to encourage you, keep up the great work! I enjoy your videos and am now getting into your blog. Don’t let the negativity taint you, just keep joyfully shining. :)

  5. I can understand your thoughts on the matter. My husband and I are both 1 generation Americans. Both our families are from different countries, different cultures. Their are some similarities that do help. But we both get the back handed completments. For example our kids might have “good hair”, even “your kids are probably going to be darker that than you, but im sure they’ll still be cute” … And even though we were both born and raised in America, most people don’t see us as Americans. So some of our white American friends or friends from diff countries, ask if we are going to raise our kids “spanish”, or what would that make our babies? (It would make them human), and it only gets worse from there.

    We dont even know if we want kids, for different reasons (we’re too lazy/cheap)

    We both come from Hispanic decent, most of the world sees it as one place or commmunity. But it’s not at ALL, especially islanders to main land people. And as people our range in skin color goes from Ghost white to very dark, so does our hiar texture/color, and eye color. And Spanish language has so many dialects that some dont understand each other. Diffierences in celebrating holidays. Even My husband and I bump heads on how to say things, being rude, bieng too polite (which comes off as rude and cold), etc.

    Most don’t of the people making these comments don’t even realize what they are saying is mean, or even racist. I just tend to let it roll off my shoulder.

  6. Speaking as the product of a half-Japanese marriage, when I went to Japanese school, all the other girls told me I was so pretty because I didn’t have to tape my eyes (which wasn’t a thing I was aware of at the time)! I live in Seattle, now, where there’s a lot of immigrants and nissei, and I can see the curiosity in their eyes when they approach, but I’ve never been told to my face that I’m not as attractive as I could have been if I wasn’t a half baby. Most just want to know why I look kiiinda like them, but kinda not.

    That’s on the Asian side of the fence. On the white side, people pretty unilaterally seem to agree that half-Asian babies are the cutest thing next to cat pictures.

    The only thing I’d tell you to brace yourself and any potential children for is a lot of people seem to carry the mentality that, if you’re not 100%, you’re not X. I’ve been told that because I’m only half, I’m “not really Japanese,” and it certainly goes the other way, too. You kinda don’t fit in with either side, but it’s still not like I’ve ever been persecuted or seriously harassed.

    Please don’t let anyone sneak your happiness away like that! You’re beautiful (Seriously, do you ever hear you look like Emilia Clarke? You do), talented, and I love reading all about your amazing, funny adventures with Ryosuke! No matter what, there will always be people who can’t and won’t see outside their own narrow perspective, and thinking about it will only reduce your quality of life, and no one should have that power over you.

    P.S. I married a white guy. :D #lovewins

    • duckhunter1 // 9 May, 2016 at 11:22 am //

      would you have considered marrying a chinese or japanese guy? what do your kids look like now

      • What’s really funny is, when I was a kid, like 14 or 15, I had decided that because I was tired of all the “half” crap, and didn’t want my kids to have to deal with it, I would ONLY marry a Japanese guy. It’s so silly to me, now, because I can’t imagine anyone getting me the way my husband does. Love happened, and ethnicity was just totally irrelevant. We don’t have any kids yet, but we know they’ll be frickin’ gorgeous when we do.

        • duckhunter1 // 9 May, 2016 at 1:03 pm //

          well teach them to use chopsticks and how to swim. I wish my dad tuaght me how to speak cantonese but alas. Before I die I would like to visit canton China I am sure thats where my family is buried or some of them. Our real name should have been a Lee. Oh and give your kids a chop. I love those.

  7. Hi Grace, If the seeming friendly racists are harder to deal with it may help to think about why they are the way they are. While the openly hostile racists are generally lashing out because of some personal pain the friendly ones are simply ignorant or misinformed.
    While I’m not a blogger I do deal with my share of hurtful comments because of my disability. I don’t have to deal with hostile bigots, but the friendly ones show up from time to time. The fact that the people making the comments don’t intend any harm does not make it any easer to deal with. Like the time a co-worker was talking about the medical difficulties he was having and then realising I was in the room turned to me and said “but I’m not incapacitated like you”. I find that comments like that don’t bother me any more because I realise that they come from ignorance and misinformation. It’s a case of garbage in garbage out.

  8. Anonymous // 7 May, 2016 at 10:28 pm //

    Hi Grace, If the seeming friendly racists are harder to deal with it may help to think about why they are the way they are. While the openly hostile racists are generally lashing out because of some personal pain the friendly ones are simply ignorant or misinformed.
    While I’m not a blogger I do deal with my share of hurtful comments because of my disability. I don’t have to deal with hostile bigots, but the friendly ones show up from time to time. The fact that the people making the comments don’t intend any harm does not make it any easer to deal with. Like the time a co-worker was talking about the medical difficulties he was having and then realising I was in the room turned to me and said “but I’m not incapacitated like you”. I find that comments like that don’t bother me any more because I realise that they come from ignorance and misinformation. It’s a case of garbage in garbage out.

    • duckhunter1 // 8 May, 2016 at 5:55 am //

      How some are still in power being from a biracial family its hard since my nephews dont know how to use a chopstick and one call being chinese freaky

  9. musicalpairs // 3 May, 2016 at 11:35 am //

    Hi, Grace.

    Jackie and Tomoki reporting here: just put those ignorant people out of your mind.

    I started to write my senior thesis in college about interracial relationships in the modern world and how yes, racism is still a thing that exists, and that we need to be more active, as a society, in squelching it when it rears its ugly hear.

    I had friends, family, and acquaintances lined up to interview, blogs to quote, the paper taking shape in my mind…and my (upper-class, white, male) professor told me that “racism like that is over, a thing of the past, this won’t make a good paper today.”

    I swallowed my ideals, passed his class and graduated, but my thesis never got written. It’s one of my most shameful, frustrating regrets.

    People who criticize your relationship have no idea who you are inside. All they see is the most basic rough outline, your skin, your races. And they judge your entire relationship based on only that. That’s the literal dictionary definition of racist right there.

    Those giftwrapped bees they leave are not yours. They are a manifestation of their own hidden bitterness and they have nothing to do with you. Don’t let another person’s rotten insides eat away at your heart. <3

  10. Gosh, I am quite surprised that these kind of people exist but more importantly that they take the time to write these kind of messages… what’s the purpose of it?
    But nonetheless! You have lots of people who admire you and really cherish what you share with us so thank you very much, for I at least am one of them, your blog posts, comics and videos make my day. Both me and my fiancé are big fans of your little stories and will continue to support you from the distance!

    • duckhunter1 // 2 May, 2016 at 2:40 am //

      exactly I dont get it since Japan and America are on very good terms. now I would understand the bias and hate against black and white marriage but not Japanese and american. coming from china and britian I just dont get why anyone would be against there marriage.

  11. I saw your post and would like to express support to you and your husband…you two make a lovely couple. I am/have been in bi-cultural relationships and we get so much hate threats as well. It is hard but I am sure you would agree…love is worth it. Wishing you and your husband much happiness and love. -Bostonian trying to do laundry in Tokyo

    p.s. not that we have kids but in regards to all the people who think bi-cultural children are not as pretty, they are mistaken. All the scientific studies point to universal beauty as a blend of all races.

    • duckhunter1 // 1 May, 2016 at 1:42 am //

      Dear god why? I thought we lived in a progressive society I guess I was wrong. I am sorry you had to experience that. I am half chinese and half british basically. People still think I am only white since thats on my face especially black people

  12. nimestel // 30 April, 2016 at 6:44 am //

    I know this won’t help, but I’m /sure/ your little humans will be wonderful and beautiful, because you and your husband are beautiful and so full of love it shows even through a screen.
    The hate behind those kind of comments would never be able to generate beauty the way love can. So maybe they are jealous, which is another kind of hate, so there.
    Thanks you for sharing your love!

  13. Those people who start off their comment by saying something nice, or apologizing, before they spew out their racist bullshit, are just as hateful and offensive as the raging capslock trolls, and they deserve the same treatment, IMO.

    Whenever I experience something like it (my boyfriend is from a different country than me, too), I find a lot of comfort in the fact that the people doing this, they are not happy people. They have issues, they are angry, probably sad and frustrated, and they are certainly not at peace. And remembering that makes dealing with them so much easier, because I know karma is already biting them in their ass, and the further down that hateful road they go, the less happy they will be. They are the losing part of these unpleasant interactions, and your minutes of pain/fear/whatever they manage to provoke in you, are probably nothing compared to how THEY feel on an everyday basis. Personally I find this very calming to keep in mind, when dealing with haters. Almost makes you feel sorry for them (but only almost, hehe). :)

    Sending you and your wonderful husband lots of love <3

    • duckhunter1 // 30 April, 2016 at 5:48 am //

      well you will beatiful kids. My dad is chinese mom is british basically. what is your husband chinese or japanese

    • After having read so many comments, one thing came to my mind:

      Have you noticed, how people who have gone through serious challenge in their lives are open hearted?

      Maybe those who are stumbling at race or other superficial aspects – or those who simply allow themselves to be negative toward someone out of prejudice – haven’t had their fair share yet.

      I wish it were not necessary and we could be mature immediately, but maybe does it take a growing up process.

      Love is really all that matters. And it could be the most politically correct – racially unified, heterosexual, religiously “appropriate” couple – when there is no love, the essential is lacking.

      And it could be the most diverse couple:

      when there is love, there is everything it needs.

      <3 to all – those without and those with prejudice. Cause life is long. And in the end, we'll all be united in Love!

      • duckhunter1 // 1 May, 2016 at 2:53 am //

        well the good thing life and intteracial couples are getting more diverse in my family alone chinese side three married whites three married chinese from the chinese that married chinese there kids have married white, indian, sadly no one from my immediate family have married a person from another race there all white, on my white side one married Filapano one married black, and we meaning my chinese family is the color of the oriental rainbow

  14. Grace you will get it all ways if you 2 are happy don’t don’t let it bother you.my wife still get it at times and we have been together 44 years

  15. Oh boy … Well I made a video about that it will be mostly a tongue in cheek video but people who have something to say about your relationship have too much free time on their hands. Go save the red panda or volunteer in an orphonage if you want to have a purpose but leave couples alone ?

  16. Most of the violent ones are all talk? I would hope ALL of them are! it sucks that people post this racist stuff. I usually try to report comments like that but some comment systems (like this one) don’t have a report option, others due have one but don’t have an option for “poster is an asshole”.

  17. Tell the white guys that they should be attacking all their white “brothers” who marry Asian women. But for some reason I doubt a white man gets much grief about that.

    • duckhunter1 // 24 April, 2016 at 9:45 pm //

      mostly its all the blacks and some whites. Plus some Japanese are against intermarriage. But they wont tell you there against it

  18. Wow. What year is it? Growing up in Hawaii, it was very common to see mixed race couples. In fact, I think everyone is mixed raced down there. When Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever came out, my brother and I looked at each other and thought, “What’s the big deal?” Some folks live in a very different world and I’m grateful that you and your husband are there to challenge ideals and ideas. Hugs from Cambodia.

  19. Do you read all posted messages? It takes lots of time.

  20. Grace,
    I’m sorry people do that to you. While most people assume my husband is just a white American, there are certain members of my family, and his that are still very unhappy about our marriage.
    My husband’s family came to the United States right after the Louisiana Purchase, securing A LOT of land on the prairie for themselves. Over time the family quite obviously expanded. Marrying people who weren’t from the same small German community. Then my husbands mother did something NO ONE in town had ever seen before. She married a French man.
    Banned from the small town she had grown up in all of her life, she and her new husband fled with their soon to be born son (My husband) to the another state.
    They lived their together, though not happily, until their third and youngest child was born.
    Torn apart by their families constant quarralling with each other and then the fighting between themselves, the “not quite” interracial marriage of my husband and his mother fell apart.
    She moved back to the small UBER German community, remarried a pure blood German, served as his wife till he died and then once again finds herself at point one. No husband, no happiness, and because of her own family/community.
    I never thought that would happen to me, until I brought home a French/German husband to my Irish/Scott family.
    Soon after that we released to our family our plan of going to Japan. At least for a few years.
    The family members who had held their breath had apparently had enough.
    I was so disappointed in my family for all of the terrible hateful things they said to us, trying to convince us that Japan was evil, blaming the entire country for specific events that had convinced my family of their demonic natures.
    Even still every holiday gathering, the people outside my immediate family still make my husband feel not only unwelcome, but unwanted.
    Then his family does the same to me.
    Those “not meant to be hateful” things that people say to you, especially people like your grandma, REALLY hurt.
    And then when it is your family, how are you supposed to just not show up for holidays?

    • duckhunter1 // 23 April, 2016 at 11:46 am //

      yeah old racial hatreds tend to stay with people who had to fight in the war have your kids dated japanese people?

  21. I’ve been following your youtube channel for sometime now and have always been in awe of your life style,moving to Japan is a dream I always wanted to do.My mother is Japanese from Tokyo and my father Greek,his family came from Athens, so it is easy to say I’m a real mix. When I was younger I lived in rural America and we were raised very European,I got the racist comments and hated it.I was in the only mixed family in the school.We didn’t even have black families at the time. As I got older, it got easier,especially when we moved to an area with lots of other military families like us.My Mother use to say that they always kept families like ours together in the same areas. Sorry I got side tracked,my point was going to be this,my Mom has always wanted to go back and I never knew why she didn’t not even for a visit,now I think I know. I think your smart and sensible and have handled it really well.I just am really surprised that people can still make those comments today,its sad to think that skin color is so important.I personally, am very proud of my heritage and so are my children.Keep on doing what makes you happy and forget the haters who can’t see beyond something so superficial.

  22. Hi Grace

    I recently found your YouTube channel and I’m hooked. I’m Japanese American. Still 100% Japanese despite being a fourth generation American. My wife is a mix of a bunch of European nationalities and is from Louisiana. I’m from Hawaii. Not quite an international marriage, but we have our cultural challenges.

    I just wanted to jump on to tell you that you’re doing good work and there are folks like us who appreciate it. Also, Hapa babies are by far the cutest babies so don’t listen to those haters, they don’t know what they’re talking about. I’ve got an 8 month old who gets complimented to the point where it’s annoying.

    Keep up the good work. Now I just have to catch up on what seems like a few years of blog posts. ?

  23. Hi Grace,

    I’m sorry you have to deal with the racism. Unfortunately I’m not surprised by the racism from the Japanese. My GUESS is that it is a larger underlying issue in Japan because it is a homogenous society that has prided itself on its “ethnic purity”. Most of the Japanese are too polite to say anything.

    I’m Japanese/American man and married to an interesting, intelligent and beautiful white woman for nearly 25 years. We live in Southern California so racism has not been much of an issue for us. You and Ryosuke are both very good looking people. Its likely you two together will produce some gorgeous children who will be able to see the world through multiple cultures.

    Keep up the great work with your blogs, videos and comics. They have been very entertaining. You two are a special couple!

    • duckhunter1 // 22 April, 2016 at 11:01 am //

      and we need to tell japanese they are being racist too. Even though they want a japanese person playing ghost in the shell

  24. Love is love! Love does not see color, race, nor religion! Which is probably why I’m so beyond mixed. Which is also why my family is made up of many religious beliefs and we try our best to respect each and every one’s religions. Love isn’t tainted, love is always beautiful. Chin up! Ignore the trolls under the bridge that is within the internet. If you can’t…. Blow up the bridge! A.K.A. banned them! 3:)

    • duckhunter1 // 21 April, 2016 at 1:06 pm //

      what are you mixed with? Me Chinese thats the only Part I know then my my english welsh scottish

  25. I tend not to comment because you always have so many here, I feel like I’m just adding a drop to the bucket. But knowing that you think of them as presents I can’t help thinking that one more couldn’t hurt (as long as it’s not hateful like those you talk about here). It sucks that those negative comments aways stick with you like a splinter, while so many positive comments run by like a river, but I hope that can also mean they refresh you.

    Many people share their heartfelt admiration for you and Ryosuke in these comments, and we hope that these little bits of our hearts can help heal the hurt. Hateful people will always be around, but you have so many caring and wonderful fans. We will support you and we hope for the best for both of you. You are both adorable and your (eventual) children will be too kawaii. We likely will not be able to even. XP

    My whole family loves the two of you, my husband and our two daughters. The girls love Ryosuke because he’s so silly. Keep doing what you do and we will appreciate the joy you bring to us all.

  26. I’m weirdly surprised but also not surprised seeing how the US elections are going. All I can say is sometimes it feels like there’s only hate because haters are the loudest, but haters gonna hate so just like with the blatant trolls block/delete/move on. You have a lot of silent /lurker fans now who read your posts and have no problems with you or your husband’s race. Honestly I think you guys look cute together, and anyone who says otherwise is either pants on head retarded or a racist asshole you can ignore.

  27. Dear Grace,

    When I read your blogs like this I just want to hug you and tell you everything will be okay.
    Ryosuke and you make a wonderful couple. You will produce beautiful children together.

    I’d be interested to a read a blog about not letting criticism written by you.

    Also, with everything going on in the world – really? Why is this a thing. There are much more important things to be upset about. Like Donald Trump.


  28. Hello Grace and Ryoske, I am sorry about all sad comments. I really do not understand how is possible people hate that. Anyway, I was watching some videos on youtube and I found this one about haters and how to protect yourself from haters, take a look: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wZEP5ZHZpA

    I love you guys! Keep the awesome work!

  29. I know exactly about this but mostly from disgusted Japanese people worried about their spoiled bloodline. My husband and I didn’t fall in love because of our race, we fell in love with the people behind those colors. When I was to meet my husband’s family for the first time I was afraid “would they worry that I’m gaijin?” “Why would they?” My husband said. I’m lucky to have married into a wonderful family and happy to call them such.

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 9:24 pm //

      aww thats nice. yeah people just cant get over the race issue in Japan and somewhat america

  30. ok…how to begin ?… Hi !
    it’s funny because i’m a “half blood” child ( half french half american ) and i was raised by parents who always told me that the most beautiful people were half blood ! i don’t know if that makes sense …anyway it’s not that they think not blending is wrong but i guess for them we are MAID to “blend “and not the other way around…i think blending is the key to understanding other cultures and accepting it and this is the key to happiness ! and i’m not saying that we shouldn’t date or marry someone the same “race” as ours ( i’ve been loving my french man for almost 9 years now and i plan on staying with him till the end ) but i think everybody should embrace our differences and love it, look for it, live it, have sex with, marry it or have children with it !!! ( wich ever you prefer ^^ ) i don’t really know if what i said has any kind of sense but i guess i was feeling sad for you guys ( grace and ryosuke and all of you people who just fell in love with your differences ) and i hope it will never put you down because you are all beautiful and i love you and i know everybody who matters do too !!! ❤❤☝

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 9:23 pm //

      exactly no one wants to embrace cultures. Now for me it seems for me blacks latin americans dont want to blend. Whites want too for the most part. Not all though.

  31. I feel so sad that you have to deal with this, I’m Filipino and I want to fall in love with someone no matter what the race is. I’m a fan of you both and love you vids, keep it up!!!

  32. What in the world??
    Aggressive haters have an agenda, but these “unconsciously super bigoted” types just sound unintelligent and like they need to get out more, lol
    I would say “Are they twelve?” But that would be an insult to the 12-year-olds I know.
    The world is wide, wide and there are sooo many kinds of people and lifestyles going on in it. Some people can only see it through their own very narrow lens, unfortunately.

  33. Grace/Ryosuke: don’t let the haters get to you whether they be American or Japanese. Stay positive and know there are way more people who support your lovely marriage than those who don’t.

    And I wish I could spam and be hateful to all those folks who are full of prejudice themselves but then I would just be stooping to their level.

  34. I definitely can share your feelings. In my case the strangers are not the hardest thing. I’ll never forget the moment, when I told my parents I would marry my Japanese boyfriend. There was just silence. Not even a smile. Nothing. If it would have been a man from southern Germany (my origin) they definitely would have been the happiest parents in the world.
    It is so hard to know that they will never be happy about my marriage. And what I fear the most is that they don’t talk about it. They just say nothing, but keep treating my fiancé different than they treat my sister’s girlfriend (though they treat her quite strange, too). Never thought that a foreigner was more unacceptable than a gay daughter in this conservative household. I often wonder why they can’t even try to treat everyone the same. Because it doesn’t change anything, if you’re gay or a foreigner. You’re just a human being looking for love. (My sister doesn’t talk about it, but I think she suffers even more from the same problem.)
    Well, very long story, but I’m happy that you talk/write about this topic. It is important to break the silence, because silence is the most hurtful thing. There are lots of readers who support you! Hang in there!

  35. Kalee Campbell // 20 April, 2016 at 10:42 am //

    I’m an anthropologist. I’m not sure if you know what that is, or if any have replied to your post, but from my point of view there’s nothing wrong with your relationship. I’m a huge fan of Japanese culture and I understand that we all have our different view points. Japanese people have their issues just as much as Americans do, or any other Country. The number one thing I tell people is that race is not biological nor scientific in any manner. It’s human conception. It’s a labeling device born from societies needs to categorize people, like they do animals, or other objects. Skin color is based on melanin release, which is controlled by UV rays. Those beings in Africa are dark, because of their close location to the equator. People living in European countries, or areas far from the equator are pale, or white. Also, those stuck in the midline have a typical in between shade. There’s physical explanations for our tiny variations, but they’re not vast enough to make us separate entities. I really hate that people are consider differently because of this, a person is a person, and the only differences between two people is the culture, which again is something we learn. It’s not inherit. The day we are born is the moment we begin to learn. Some of us just learn differently, but it doesn’t mean you and someone from half way across the world are not soul mates. It’s petty to deny someone the right to love you, based on melanin release. I honestly hope that someday the world understands, but at this moment we keep repeating past mistakes. Humans have a long way to go, but I really hope you two stay happy together. I wish you the best as a fellow Texan. Good luck.

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 1:37 pm //

      so why do people who marry japanese and white there kids look mixed? or white? some whites look very dark and some blacks look very white

  36. I personally can’t wait to see (if you allow us) your beautiful beautiful children of you decide to have them. (Im still iffy on the subject myself) but you guys are really inspiring and not only that but any child would love to have parents who are as in love as you guys are because it’s a really really beautiful thing. I love you guys so much!

  37. Even though I know in theory this stuff happens, I’m always floored by real examples of it. The level of prejudice and ignorance is astounding.

    I know this doesn’t solve the problem, and I know it’s not your job to do this, but every couple like you makes the world a better, more accepting place for future generations. You’re a wonderful couple and part of that is how you’ve negotiated cultural differences and become stronger for it.

  38. From living in Japan on and off for the last 40 something years a black man with a Japanese woman is the biggest disrespect a Japanese woman can bring on herself and her family always has been and in the states the other Japanese women don’t want a thing to do with those girls.i here the things they say in white and my wife is okinawan I speak both languages and the women know this so they dent hide this from me.we have known girls in these relationships all end in divorce within 5 to 10 years

  39. This post makes me so sad! Anyone with eyes can see how much you and Ryosuke love each other and any parent who doesn’t hold hate in their hearts would be happy for their children to end up with a partner who makes their kid as happy as the two of you are. Sending love and support your way!

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 5:17 am //

      and have lets and lets of kids

    • I can understand your situation a little bit, when my bf announced our relationship the comments from his fb friends were mostly supportive but one person was like “how disappointed was your mom because she is not Korean.” his aunt, who is very sweet replied and said “It’s 2015, we have a black president, all lives matters.” weird way to defend us but i felt nice to know that she was more understanding. His parents are also really sweet and treat me like a daughter already. As long as you’re happy then race shouldn’t matter. I hope that those thoughts don’t affect you too much and you continue to focus on the happy times you have.

  40. Grace hate to say this but look forward to this for a long time my wife and I have been married 44 years she’s okinawan I’m white still get it.i have had white women with black men say I should’ve married a white women and black have told my wife she should’ve stayed with her own kind or married a black man I’ve even got into a fight with a black about.dont worry about it.iave even heard Asian people say things about it in front of me thinking I didn’t understand what they were saying fooled them as I speak japanese and okinawan l

  41. pengupengu // 20 April, 2016 at 2:00 am //

    “Those who have no heart to follow their dreams, will often get in the way of others” seeing something hateful like this is aweful! If anything, these people are probably jealous that you have a relationship founded on love, humour, mutual respect and kindness. Keep being awesome and let those mean comments drift away.

  42. It’s not like it doesn’t hurt, but I hope the support you two have makes up for it. You guys are beautiful! You love each other! I don’t think there can be anything possibly wrong with that. Keep doing you. :)

  43. I think good replies to those comments would be:
    – “i’d be the joker mixed with the grinch if I were to smile more, so no thank you. I’m currently at my maximum humanly-possible smile with Ryosuke”
    – “Mixed race babies tend to be more attractive than their mono-race counterparts actually.”
    – “Well, they stopped looking for a japanese daughter-in-law once they saw Ryosuke brought home a better one”
    – “Thanks. Good thing Ryosuke doesn’t have slanted eyes!”

    I actually have friends who think like those people; they told me the reason they don’t give hatred messages but rather apologetic racist messages is because (in the case of guy friends) they find the girl attractive and find themselves lose self-esteem when someone of another race manages to win their hearts.

    So, the reasons they say all these are not because they are against mixed-marriage itself: It’s just that they wish they were the other person.

    So yeah, it’s their ego and lack of esteem speaking

  44. Are you in a position to hire someone to go through the comments for an hour every day, so they can filter out this stuff? It would only be like $60USD every month

  45. I’m sorry you found someone who can make you laugh, loves you to no end, and is willing to commit to a lifetime of loving you… oh wait, no I’m not.

    When I was a kid, I planned how I would marry someone of a different nationality just so my kids would learn to speak as many languages as possible early on and have as many nationalities as they could (they would also all be born in a country foreign to both of us so they could pick up their birth country too), but after growing up I saw that was as silly as not marrying someone because they weren’t the right race/social class/economic class. You could tell them you have the best of both worlds and will be ok, or you could just run around the house yelling “MULTICULTURALISM!” while wearing a poop hat and eating a grilled cheese sandwich. If that doesn’t work, hug your honey. After all, he’s all yours and not theirs, so clearly you’ve won this round (even if they don’t admit defeat).

  46. Anonymous // 19 April, 2016 at 11:54 pm //

    The world will always have haters, and there will always be someone who hates you no matter how good you are. Just remember we are not alone, you are not alone and there are a lot of people who will always support you! I myself think that both you and your husband are a wonderful couple.

    Cheers from afar, who support your marriage.

    p.s I’m sure your kids would be really beautiful! I have friends who are in the same position as you, they have kids and all their kids are very very beautiful.

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 12:44 pm //

      I am surprised it still around especially chinese japanese and korean mixed raced people. Unrested even said this lady wants all the Gajinn shipped off to an island so what happens to his kids? the lady is crazy

  47. Grace, I love the fact that you followed love (I am assuming that is how it went, and mean no offense if it is not). Love is a very powerful force and to submit to it unhindered takes a lot of courage. I just recently found your blog and love it. I wish only the best for you both.

    Ignore the bigots and enjoy your life and your love. The people that comment differently are narrow-minded and sad because, deep down in a place they never acknowledge, they know that they will never find the happiness that you two have.

    Keep the positive thoughts and live your life for YOU.

  48. Grace, you and Ryosuke are as beautiful as you can be. Happiness is stamped in your faces when you are together and that’s what make you guys so special. It’s funny how people think they have the right to opiniate in others life. its also at least interesting that being with someone outside your race will generate “ugly babies” when In my country (Brazil) we are LITERALLY, ALL MIXED (it’s really hard to find a single person who isn’t mixed, or “Hafu” ;) and it is said we have beautiful people.

    People are afraid of what they can’t understand, and most of the time they attack verbally. It’s okay to be hurt, specially when we all can see that that never stopped you from doing anything. It’s very mature of you to deal the way you are with all of it. Keep it up as you guys are great and nothing less than it :) love your comics, posts, stories and all!

  49. Anonymous // 19 April, 2016 at 11:11 pm //

    I’m Asian/White mix and one of the lovely things about being biracial in my opinion, is that no matter who you’re with you’re in an interracial relationship :) I find that my parents are also incredibly accepting and open people which has allowed me to grow up to be the same!

    Love from Canada!

  50. What miserable stupid internet trolls.
    I love your comics and your YouTube channel.

    I don’t even know how people can be like that in 2016.
    I think a lot has to do with jealousy miserable people do not like to see other people happy.

    My wife is Japanese and
    as funny and challenging as cultural differences can be at times I would not change it for the world.

    We have not really faced any comments like this from anybody except the odd Ignorant comment from my grandfather about world war 2.

    If you guys do decide to have kids they will be cute and smart and have the benefit of speaking two languages and the knowledge of thousands of years of tradition.

    The people writing these comments are likely living in some redneck town in the USA and have no future.
    pay no mind to it and keep up the great work guys.

    Best Regards

    Jordan J Engman
    The Mad Gringo

  51. Wow I expected these people exist, but I will never understand these assholes who go looking for people they don’t know and harras them.

    Those comments tho.

    “If you married an American, you would smile more.”

    Oh yes, this person clearly knows you and has watched your video’s. You CLEARLY are a typical American girl who wants to stay in America with her American husband surrounded by other white Americans. She knows what’s good for you Grace.

    “Mixed babies will be ugly.”

    Let’s do a Google search…HOLY SHIT look at all these beautiful mixed people!! I watched some of Unrested’s video’s and it seems your mixed children will be showered with compliments tho.

    “Japanese parents want a Japanese inlaw.”

    Younger generations in Japan seem pretty excited about foreigners, so I can only assume that mentality is slowly fading away.

    “You would look like a better couple if ryosuke had double eyelids”??

    This person clearly looks like a foot and couldn’t handle looking at such a beautiful couple, so it barfed on it’s keyboard which produced this nonsense.

    I hope you guys have a nice day regardless!
    Love reading your blog ;)

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 12:15 pm //

      you watch unrested too cool. well people need to realize there still people that say race mixing is wrong yet there family are mixed in with other races so its really kinda stupid if that person is against it. I came from a mixed raced family all my chinese relations have married white basically

  52. Akward to read this, because every time I see a “mixed” couple I think: “Aww their children would be beautiful!”
    Because this is just how evolution is working… the more colorful you mix it, the healthier and smarter it will become.
    There are always dumb people out there, and stupidity can be hard to fight, but you are doing great at it! :)

  53. Stay strong Gracie! I’m in the same sort of relationship as you are, and while I haven’t gotten haters yet since we don’t have a public blog or anything, I still find myself bracing for this kind of behavior and it makes me really sad that anyone has to in this day and age.

    I see these hateful people in comments sections all over the place and the best thing I’ve done to learn how to keep from getting my feathers ruffled is to laugh at them, because science is not on their side. I’m still in college, and I’ve been taking classes like anthropology and biology and intercultural communication classes and I’ve learned two important things that clearly the haters have not:
    -Race is not a biological trait, and is actually a social construct built up around cosmetic traits that make up our outward appearances. Tests have been done to compare people of different races genetically, and it’s very surprising who turns out to be more genetically similar to who.
    -Our biological drive to choose a ‘mate’ is based off of the idea that we need to find someone genetically dissimilar from ourselves, because that lends to giving offspring stronger immune systems, so they’ll be healthier. That’s who we end up being attracted to (on a base level, anyway), because of their body chemistry, among other things. My phone isn’t letting me paste links to studies here, but I can dig them up and send them back over on facebook if you’d like to see.

    And In the end it’s just none of their damn business anyway. Try not to let them get to you, guys. There’s absolutely nothing they need to ‘save’ you from.

  54. What’s funny is that mixed-race children are very often the most attractive, it must be the genetic diversity.
    Not that that should matter anyway, of course, just musing the oddity of the one commenter’s position.

  55. I’d just like to say that you and Ryosuke are perfect for each other and your children will be perfect. It doesn’t come from what race you are, it comes from love. When you love each other, nothing else matters. I know it’s a cliché but I honestly believe that love conquers all.

    You are Ryosuke obviously love each other very much and anyone who truly cares about either of you will just be happy that you are both happy.

    Everytime those bees come out to sting you, remember your positive comments and more important your love for each other. It will be like a vacuum cleaner sucking them away.

    Thank you for such a good blog post and don’t let small minded people get you down. Xx

  56. I know exactly what you’re going through.. I am Greek/English and my lovely boyfriend is Jamaican. We were in the queue for a gig when my phone dinged and when I checked it out there it was, our first hate message. Some stranger found my profile, saw my profile picture where I’m at the beach with my boyfriend and decided it was necessary to let me know how he felt about us. Apparently I am a “white saxon race traitor”. I made a post on facebook about him asking friends to report his profile, yet he made more and more profiles and continued to harass not only me, but my boyfriend also. The messages quickly escalated from pure hate to threats of violence. Thanks to a friend we traced his location and reported him to the police. I cannot help but feel sorry for any interracial couples that may have encountered that prick in real life.

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 5:28 am //

      that sucks just love and live your life. Some areas are too back waters you know heck being half chinese I wouldnt want to even try to go to those remote locations sometimes

  57. Wow, let me just say, you found the perfect way to describe comments on the internet!
    I am so sorry, that you get those kinds of comments regularly and I consider myself lucky, that my husband (Asian) and me (white) rarely get any comments about our relationship.

    When we married and my husband came to Germany I was really worried that he might get strange comments but it turned out, that we either don’t or that we didn’t notice them. The same applies now here in Japan. I was so worried, that people might stare (especially since I am “larger”) but so far, nothing.

    I admire you, Grace, that you can acknowledge the pain those comments bring you and then try to get over it. I think it shows more strength and character than any of those trolls and mean commenters posess!

    • duckhunter1 // 20 April, 2016 at 11:47 am //

      do you have any kids? do you get asked about your kids? I love seeing mixes of chinese or japanese or korean with white

  58. wallaby78erik // 19 April, 2016 at 3:07 pm //

    I’m glad you wrote about what is happening, and that it’s always going to hurt. I hope that your supporters will always outnumber and outshine the nasties, and that at the end of the day, the friendly comments will be what sticks in your head.

    Love your writing and your art!

  59. Wow…
    The utter and complete immaturity of people.
    Being racist like that makes you look *shakes head* ..
    I can’tell even think of what to say, but a string of expletives come to mind at the moment.
    These people obviously haven’t met the funny that IS Ryosuke.
    The few times I tweeted him, he had me laughing with his simple, but funny responses.
    Get over it racist people. You just jealous cos she ain’t with you.
    Potatoes gonna potate.

  60. Grace, there’s nothing I can say to take the hurt away. But just to let you know that in Hawaii we have a lot of races that intermarry. Some people become angry; but others proudly say I am hawaiian, filipino, japanese, irish, iranian, portugese, mexican, samoan.. . . . . .
    I think they are proud as they tick off this information on their fingers.

  61. duckhunter1 // 19 April, 2016 at 1:20 pm //

    well being biracial it stings and hurts and I am still amazed racism exists on all fronts. will we ever get past this? I have been called racist for liking a japanese person who is paying tribute to a black actor and they have black face on. I think the only thing people can do is have more kids that are biracial and teach them there culture. My nephews dont know how to use chop sticks and there a quarter chinese one nephew calls being chinese freaky oh hello you are a quarter chinese

    • I would like to see this image of the Japanese actor in “blackface”. Who was the actor? Who called you racist? This is weird. You used the word “Blackface” to describe the event, yet somehow managed to disconnect the name of it from the racist history associated with “blackface”. What a contradiction: able to identify and be upset by the racism hurled at you (and rightfully so, racism should not be tolerated) yet unable to see how you perpetuate the ugliness of racism yourself.

  62. Your children will be beautiful as mine are having married a Japanese. The best jeans from both sides are mixed producing a better human being than the narrow minded haters.

  63. This post really spoke to me because I still get those comments as well…and I know what you mean, it’s the ones that are less blatantly “hate mail” — the secret apologetic racists as you said — that sting the most.

    Just want to leave this comment to say you’re not alone. Sending you a huge, warm hug from China. :-)

  64. Izola Gary // 19 April, 2016 at 12:32 pm //

    As a grown up, a mullatto (mixed black and white) woman, and a person who hates ignorance and loves to cuss, let me say screw those that are stupid!! I tell my children we will not breed ignorance and it stops with me teaching my own children to appreciate all people’s choices. You two are awesome and I can’t wait to read about the lovely little mixed babies that may come along. Be you and do you. Enjoy your life and your happiness and f*ck the ignorant people who know no better.
    Izola in Okinawa

  65. Anonymouse // 19 April, 2016 at 11:34 am //

    Just wanted to de-lurk to send my support your way. It’s awful that strangers feel entitled to unburden their own hangups on you and Ryosuke; it’s absolutely unfair of them to make comments–that they darn well know are going to make you feel bad–like that.

    I wish I had some words of wisdom that would make it not hurt, but in lieu of that I just want to reiterate that you’re popular BECAUSE of how many people support you and Ryosuke. Not just your marriage, but you both as individuals. We find the parts of your lives that you share with us fascinating, we relate to you on some fundamental level, and we think what both of you have to say is at turns insightful, funny, and informative.

  66. Katsumi Hagiwara // 19 April, 2016 at 11:25 am //

    Grace, this is Katsumi and Denise from Oklahoma. We came to your book signing in Austin the last Thanksgiving. As you know, I am from Japan and Denise is from OK. We get the same thing sometimes around here…work, church, family reunion, restaurants, neighborhood, hotels…funny it’s almost always grownups, not children. That’s why I am an Elementary music teacher! Since we realize that we can’t change those people, we just ignore. They are the sad ones. Not us. We love you, Grace and Ryosuke!

  67. People can be such jerks. So sorry to hear that you have to deal with such hateful comments. Anyone who would watch your videos would clearly see that you and Ryosuke are adorable together and that y’all love each other so much.

  68. When I watched your Ghana video with your dad in it. I realized you married someone who was similar to your dad (which is good).

    As fast as the world changes, it sometimes does not change fast enough in some ways.

    The racism is now more hidden and sly, open racism is easier to deal with. It hurts less since you can say the person was ignorant. The hidden type hurts more since it hides in a comment or careless action. It will take more time and education to change their thinking but I hope it will change in the future.

    I understand what you encounter (1/2 korean and white). So always support each other (United You Stand). Also when you have kids always support and talk to them about the people who may hate them for their “tainted” blood. I can’t say it gets better but it hurts less if you don’t give them (the racial uneducated) power. Stand your ground. There are plenty of people who want you to do well.

  69. Our humanity has developed huge powers, like splitting the atom. This is utterly incompatible with medieval bigotry and tribe mentality. As I do not believe that we are here to fail, it calls for our uprising, which more and more are joining.

    I am grateful for all those who are ignoring the artificial limitations of prejudices of any kind. While they are putting themselves into discomfort, they are also living something at the measure of their greatness.

    Bless you Grace and Ryosuke, and all those who are following your heart.

  70. Jacqueline // 19 April, 2016 at 7:49 am //

    You two are my inspiration! You provide hope that one day I will marry a person of Asian heritage. I come from a very very white anglosaxon family born in Australia. I am exposed to passive racist slurs in my everyday life. All because I am not attracted to Australian men. This makes me all the more determined to embrace other cultures.

    Enjoy the ritual and cleansing of binning such racist comments.

  71. It’s amazing how we all think that we got to that wonderful utopian place where racists don’t exist and equality is the norm, but the sad truth is that we never got there. We were never really that close to begin with. And, even though the internet is a great platform for sharing art, ideas and for breaking through the inequality barrier, it has also given these people the means to say what they want without any direct consequences. It’s a double-edged knife, and all we can do is try to not let the so called haters get to us. And even if they do, we need to just take a deep breath (like you said), delete the comments and carry on doing what we love.

    Great post!

  72. There are two broad categories of people who express racial or ethnic prejudices: one is those who exploit the prejudices and ignorance of others to advance some personal or political agenda; these people are devious and evil. The other, a much larger group, are ignorant or willfully ignorant people with a poor self image which they seek to bolster by identifying with a group they regard as superior, even if they regard themselves as inferior members of that group. The idea here is that even if they themselves are inferior members of a superior group, being part of a superior group makes them superior to anyone who is not part of that group. So, in a comparative sense they can feel good about themselves in some way. Yes, this is a mal-adaptive behavior, but, it is expressed by someone in almost every human community in the world. Does that make it good or even OK? No; my point is only that it is not culturally or geographically limited. And, sadly, both kinds of racists show up on internet forums.

    My brother in law had a high school friend who was posted in Japan when he was in the U.S. Army in the early 1960’s. He met and started dating a Japanese girl who worked in the same building. Their relationship progressed to where they started talking about getting married, so she invited him to spend his annual leave with her at her parents’ home in a rural part of the country. During his stay there, her folks decided it would be OK for their daughter to marry him. So they were married a few months later. His parents however were fit to be tied when they found out their son had a Japanese wife; they were solidly in the second category of prejudiced people. It was years before they would agree to meet their daughter in law and their grandchildren. But, they eventually did get over their prejudices; ignorance and irrational views can sometimes be cured. (My mom used to say that ignorance is curable but stupidity is usually terminal.)

    Grace and Ryosuke, you have a decided advantage in that both of your families are with
    you on your journey together. That counts for way more than all the stupid opinions of all the internet trolls in the world put together. Best wishes to you both!

  73. Some people will always complain or give you an ostensibly “well-meant” advice with a negative undertone. However, they do not know your inside, your feelings, how comfortable and happy you feel because of your partner, how well you match. It might be racist in the first place, yet also other vloggers who have a partner with the same ethnicity/religion/nationality get comments like “You’re too beautiful/ugly for XY. You should definitely date someone at ‘your level’ .” These hate-mail-writers simply lack open-mindedness/ cosmopolitanism and reduce their pastime to their comments in the virtual world. Don’t take it personally ;)

  74. My reaction is like your friends’: “What, you mean that’s still a thing? Those racists aren’t all dead yet?”

    I’m not some young, idealistic person. I’m over 50, and I’ve pretty much seen it all. Legal segregation (including laws against interracial marriage) existed in the U.S. in my lifetime. But I really thought that overt racism had started to recede, at least here in America. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be true. For example, Trump and Cruz are using racism to get millions of primary votes– pretty open racism in Trump’s case and thinly-veiled, “dog-whistle” racism in Cruz’s case. Their supporters aren’t a majority of all Americans, but they are more than numerous enough to be a national disgrace.

    In the end, you just have to try to treat others well and live a good life. You can’t change other people ( most of the time).

    • Laws against interracial marriage have been done away with since 1967 i know that as i have been in an interracial marrage 44 years nothing racist with Trump

      • I guess arithmetic is not your strong suit. I said I’m over 50. 2016 – 50 = 1966 (but in fact, I was also born before the Civil Rights Act [1964] and the Voting Rights Act [1965]). So Jim Crow was still around when I was a young child.

        If you don’t think Trump’s rhetoric is racist, I’ll just say you have a very unusual definition of “racist.”

        • I read it wrong though you said 50 my math is perfect been doing math over 65 years sorry about the mistake in fact I’ll be 70 in may

          • What’s racist about trump I guess because he want to sent illegal back where they came from is racist its not get an education before you try to talk

          • Saying Mexican immigrants are criminals, drug traffickers, and rapists is definitely racist (and statistically untrue).
            And that’s only the FIRST of Trump’s many, many appeals to racism during the current campaign.

    • You know what I think is worse than racism? Political correctness.

      I prefer feelings to be expressed, so, if there is also good will, a healing can take place, rather than to get a forced smile, filled with poison.

      For those who are living by their heart, love is the focus.

      • I don’t know what “political correctness” means to you (people use that term with various, and usually inexact, meanings), but can you really believe it’s worse than racism? Your comment astounds me.

        • Sorry, I was meaning that I prefer open talk, even if it is racist, rather than political correctness.

          There are so many hues of racism, underlying, unexpressed, and only an approach with an open heart can heal it. And allowing communication, it seems to me, even though it will involve racist talk – I do not mean insults, but racist views expressed, is helping to reach the heart.

          I hope I clarified it for you.

          • Ian MacDougall // 19 April, 2016 at 10:51 am //

            The term ‘political correctness’ is a cacophemism (the opposite of a euphemism) for ‘good manners’. I don’t know about your heart, but I’m pretty sure there are a few things in mine that you’d be happier not knowing.

          • “Cacophemism” is an excellent word for it, Ian.

          • Too bad we are unable to perceive the spirit accompanying the words.

            I was questioning utter hypocrisy. And the hindrance of well intentioned and healing communication. Putting up nice faces while feeling quite different than appearances and giving no chance to changing that.

            Nothing to do with basic and obvious caring in wording our sentiments.

            Quoting Buddha: “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind”.

            We are all brothers and sisters. Love unites us in any case. Regardless of what I understand as temporary appearances. And the latest when we leave our physical body, and the physical appearance, the culture, the religion we have spent this Earthly life in, do we start to see each other as radiant souls :o)

      • The illegal are criminal and should by kicked out don’t matter where they are from you don’t know their back ground unless you are illegal too

  75. Life is too short to think about hatemails. Hatemails, flaming in onlinegames, haters in forums, … these are all parts of the nature of the Internet. Don’t think about them, delete them and all is good.
    (Sry for my english. I am from germany.)

  76. Both of you are destined to be together even before you’re formed in your mothers womb.

  77. terry lambert // 19 April, 2016 at 3:08 am //

    The true internet poison is smugness. It is onething to have these stupid thought but why on earth would you ever utter them. Its just smug self satisfaction. They think they are the algoquin roundtable but they are just petulent six year olds. At one time it was letters written in crayon now its letters smugly written in all caps

  78. I’ve not seen many people that look more in love than the two of you and his eyes aren’t exactly slanty. People are cruel sometimes and dumb and we just need to ignore them.
    I’m a white woman and I married I white man, but I told my husband that if I had to get married again after him I’d probably marry an Asian man. We always laugh at it.
    You guys just keep on being awesome <3

  79. Taraveling Tortoise // 19 April, 2016 at 2:08 am //

    Grace, been following your blog without posting for a while, but I just had to respond to this one. Although I am Japanese guy (or 1st Gen American of Japanese descent) married to Japanese wife living in the US, I am a firm believer that interracial / intercultural marriages are humanity’s biggest (if not the only) hope of us ever creating a world of peace and harmony. Marriage is a funny thing, but I know I didn’t marry my wife just because she’s Japanese… as I’m sure you two aren’t together just because of your racial backgrounds.

    I am sure both Ryosuke and you, not to mention both of your families, have had some “working things out” and coming closer together as families than others of the same background might have. You see, I believe that’s what makes your family all the more beautiful. And I am absolutely certain that your children are going to be absolutely gorgeous not only on the outside but the inside as well, as they see their parents of different backgrounds loving each other, and as they discover their diverse backgrounds and identities.

    Keep up the good fight, and all the best for your family.

  80. Ariana Rodriguez // 19 April, 2016 at 1:59 am //

    I understand whole-heartedly. My fiancee is Japanese and I am Xicana. And we get those nasty commentss all the time. It really breaks my heart. We love each other so much but it doesn’t seen to get through to people. The worst it when they say “His mom will not like you because you are not Japanese, you cannot care for her baby.” And I can, and he can care for me too. Its no ones business. People veiw me as his arm candy, like our relationship isn’t serious, because Japanese will never veiw foreigners as anything more thab playthings. And people scoff at me for choosing an “undesirable” Asian man. But my fiancee is a super hot dork, that never fails to make me smile, who shares mh ideals and that’s all that matters.

    You and Ryosuke are so beautiful together, and your children will be beautiful. I swear your love shines out of both of you. Its so beautiful, and people need to mind their own business.

  81. Grace you will get that forever my wife and I have been married 44 years.I have gotten that from white women and black men.I just them to f___ off.my wife is Okinawan and and I’m white.

  82. This made my heart places really sad. Im sorry people are offended by the beautiful love you share with ryo and vice versa. :( i personally hope the comments dont go away any time soon! I love the community around this blog and ive only followed ot for a couple weeks!

  83. Kyra C.E // 19 April, 2016 at 1:10 am //

    Awful! Why would they have a problem with you guys just because of race.. I’m sorry but I hate that kind of personality and thinking style. Just because you guys different doesn’t make you guy unsuitable. For me you guys are adorable! I love you guys! Just ignore what they said because its you the one who marry ryousuke. And ryousuke marry to you.. outsider don’t act like your family.. and think like they know your family are.. if your family accept the way you guys are.. so them too..! Just ignore them grace.. life is not perfect… and you guys completed each other.. to me you guys a perfectly fit together! Love you guys! Be strong! We will always support you!

    Love from malaysia ???

  84. Thank you for sharing this post with us. I think it’s sad that there are people out there who are not able to understand relationships outside of their narrow confines. And I think it is even sadder that you have to be hurt by these people. I just feel that there are so many unhappy people of all kinds that anyone who is happy in their relationship, even if it is not what you would have chosen, should be celebrated, not judged. Sending you love from the UK!

  85. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject! I haven’t had any experience with people being outright cruel, let alone subtly cruel, but I can empathize with your pain. It’s easier to shovel out the faeces, but more difficult to catch every small, stinging insect. I hope that you will continue to grow stronger, and that those silly comments will affect you less and less.

    Do you ever come across these types of subtly condescending remarks when you are face-to-face with someone? I feel like people might be more filtered when face-to-face, and that most people who make comments like that are only using their anonymity to make such statements.

  86. It’s easy to say “don’t listen to them, they’re jerks and their opinions don’t matter” but you can’t really help the hurt you feel. I’ve never personally had that problem, but faced a similar feeling. I just want you to know that no matter what they say, just remember that there are more of us out there that love you both the way you are and we definitely love you guys together. Those people obviously are watching your videos with shaded eyes or not at all because I can clearly see the love you guys have for each other. You both have so much fun together. I’m jealous of all the fun you both have! :) wish I could meet you guys one day!

  87. Don’t want to make it an issue, Locohama. Briefly, I’m a white woman married to a man from the Caribbean. We met through the Internet, and our relationship was simply obvious. I would even say: it was meant to be.

    I consider that inter-racial/cultural/religious relationships in our present state of humanity are a blessing and essential in order to once and for all reach beyond appearances and humanise us. And probably many people feel it instinctively.

    This said, on the forum of my husband’s home island, while I am meeting much friendliness, I’ve read from a minority of less friendly posters things like “only weak Black guys go for white women, who are docile and submissive” there was more, and not of the nicest. Ohwell … ask my husband if I’m a cooked noodle :P I love my human Brothers and Sisters, as well as all those living Beings from all kingdoms.

    Whoever has suffered enough finds one motivation: to love, love, love, infinitely.

  88. All this has been said in other posts and I want to reinforce it. People who have not realized that human beings are all one race, have the same basic desires for food, shelter, health, love and the same for their family are harming themselves with stress when they see someone “mixing it up”. You are an example of someone who has looked beneath the surface and realized the person you desired was there, regardless (or maybe because) of their appearance. I commend and support you.

  89. For me, the only thing worse than getting on a train in Japan alone, is doing so with a Japanese woman. The looks of dismay / disgust / shock / snobbery, none aimed at me, mind you, all aimed at her, I’m disappeared from this silent conversation between my companion and the masses. And she’s often oblivious of it until I point it out, and then of course it usually looks away.

    Reminds me of NY when I would be with a white girl, the open hostility from black women (who wouldn’t hide or turn away and disguise it). Black men would just be curious or giving me nods of approval or something like that. I dunno. Tribalism, xenophobia, racism, prejudice, whatever you wanna call it– you describe it well– is a flaming bag of feces, wherever it occurs.

    You and Ryousuke rule and I believe your love is strong enough to withstand this trolling foolishness and then some. So don’t worry but please stay alert, because those ugly little innocent oblivious ones are to me the worse, much more worrisome than the others, and unfortunately the majority. And they concern me more than the outspoken conspicuous trolls because these people know not what they do. And people tend to cut them way too much slack but to me the clueless racist people are the most troubling.

    How do you respond when a mentally ill child takes to your head with a wiffle bat and won’t stop when you say stop? You can’t hit them, you can’t even scold them really without feeling guilty. So we let shit slide, rationalize it away…

    Well, That’s what the mentally challenged do. They have a long traditional custom of doing so. And what a cute little wiffle bat!


    hang in there!

  90. I will never understand why people need to insult other people they don’t even know…. I actually find interracial couple really cool. You bring 2 cultures in your life. If you have children, this children will be raise and have 2 different backgrounds. That is so nice. I don’t think you need to be saved!!! You’re fine like you are! :)

  91. Wow. It’s always shocking to hear this kind of racism is still around (it’s hurtful that any of it is still around)–the second, nuanced type you described sends chills down my spine because these people don’t think they’re being racist. Those are the hardest people to even try to have a constructive conversation about the topic since they don’t think they’re wrong. They thing they’re very right.

    Grace and Ryosuke–you guys are wonderful and beautiful. Inside for certain, and outside, of course. Your perseverance through the ‘trials’ contrived by ‘well-meaning’ humans is commendable, and thank you for letting us, the readers, into your lives. <3

  92. I think you guys are a beautiful couple and I’ve learned so much from you since I started following. Keep living the life you love!

  93. I’ve been surrounded by interracial/international marriages since I was a kid. I’m of mixed Asian blood (Thai/Lao), and my cousins are of Asian-White/Black decent, so I find it interesting that despite so much interracial/international marriages happening all around the world, there are those who still think like that.

    But only you can determine your own happiness, and I think that being able to find that happiness from halfway around the world is an amazing thing.

  94. Oh my goodness I’m so sorry that you have to deal with that sort of abuse. It is worse when somebody is pretending to have your best interests at heart but then takes a shot like that. It’s low, and many of them DO know exactly how hurtful their passive aggressive comments are. That makes me so angry.
    You are a wonderful couple and how dare they try to chip away at your esteem and happiness in that way.
    There are certain personality types (and personality disorders) who use those tactics intentionally to cause harm to others and I can assure they they are doing it on purpose.
    If I sound really mad, it’s because I am (LOL) I have first hand experience of this type of abuse and it’s soul destroying, cruel and undermines your self confidence if you let it. It’s character assassination dressed up as concern for your welfare. It’s sick.
    in my own life the abuse I endured caused me to research the psychology behind this sort of behaviour and I found it helped once I could pull it apart and realise it was no reflection on me, just a projection of their own unhappiness.
    OK rant over! But remember you are a beautiful and wonderful girl and your marriage is about you and Ryoske, and everybody else can wind their neck in!

    I particularly like the humourless way some of the celebs on twitter deal with hate messages but it takes a lot of energy to do that, and I think you’d find it exhausting and not gratifying to enter into those sorts of battles, as they tend to get nasty, long and drawn out. Don’t waste your precious time.

    Sending lots of love and support to you and your lovely hubby. Don’t let the meanies get you down!


    • Typo – I meant to write humorous not humourless! ? silly smartphone!

    • The internet is a blessing. For mature people. For those who always need to live under threat so they don’t cross the limits, it’s such an easy space where to commit abuse. I have witnessed such behaviour, including against me. Admittedly, it’s not easy, but the best thing I found for me to do is to keep my own vibes clean, to not involve myself, to understand that it’s their own projection and it’s got nothing to do with me, and to possibly even respond or silently send back something good for the lack of what I’ve been receiving.

  95. Hey Grace, and Ryosuke, Unfortuately the world is not perfect, and its full of ignorant people who have nothing better that criticise another human being because they married outside of their race and think that married inside your race will make you very happy and content in their ideal world.. Thats a whole of BS and also love does not work that way, Its basically friendship, chemistry and so many things that is based on love. From reading the comments from everyone, I can’t say much, apart from saying Just ignore it and get on with your own life, be happy and you will have beautiful children which are the extension of you and Ryosuke.. Thats all I got to say.

  96. Thank you, and Ryosuke, for choosing love. It’s the best thing we have going for us in this world.

  97. THANKS, Grace, for sharing such a sensitive topic with us!

    I, too, have been married to a woman of a different race for 45 years now. Over the course of that time we have run across a few people whose attitudes and/or behavior have reflected their disapproval of our being together. Admittedly, we have been hurt when that has happened. But we have gone on and savored all the acceptance and love that has come our way.

    We have raised a smart, talented, fun loving (and very beautiful) daughter who has been the apple of our eye and that of just about everyone else she meets in the world. Besides having a successful career she is happily married for 12+ years and is now the amazing and loving parent of a 7 year old who adores her.

    So, our mixed race marriage has turned out to be an amazing blessing! YOURS with Ryosuke will be, too!!

  98. Maybe this sums it up:

    Love sanctifies everything and everyone.

    It’s so heartening to see more and more people making part of ever more aspects, moments and experience of their life, this highest, pure, divine level of frequency.

    And Love – or the Divine – are that miraculous that even those who do not do it consciously, who appear to be in ignorance and denial, are also in an aspect of that experience, which, for all, will emerge into full experience of the Sanctity of Love and Life.


  99. Anonymous // 18 April, 2016 at 5:17 pm //

    The general rule is, the less you know them, the less you should care what they have to say.

  100. Crystal Isabelle // 18 April, 2016 at 3:48 pm //

    <3 to Ryosuke and you and everyone who is in a love relationship. It is something highly sacred.

    I am also in an interracial marriage: I've met the man with whom I am in such harmony, as I never knew before could exist. Thanks to not being as exposed as you, I don't have to regularly face comments coming straight from ignorance and lovelessness. I still faced a few, and whenever it happens, once I'm over my grouchiness, ultimately it really makes me feel compassion for those who express such feelings.

    When love – which is of the greatest holiness, which is the absolute and indispensable foundation for any relationship – is being experienced, it leaves no space for such feelings.

    So anyone who does not get it, while they are are exposing themselves by expressing aloud their ignorance of love and of the sanctity of it, which has vast implications in matter of their perception of Holiness at all: this is really only about their projection on us. And while it may shock us or even make us feel threatened, it's got nothing to do with us.

    They totally miss the point. Through their attitude, they are showing that they are missing so much, in fact! Understanding it in such a way: what better can I do, once I'm over my own feelings, than to offer my most loving radiance, a smile, and compassion?

    Love is the highest expression of the Divine.

  101. There are just people whose happy button got switched off! I hope you guys continue to be strong and just leave them pea green in envy LOL! I’m an ESL teacher and I always look forward to watching Texan in Tokyo after every shift, because you guys are so much fun! Virtual hugs to you and more blessings!

  102. Awwww….you and Ryosuke are an awesome couple, and perfect for each other!

    We wouldnt change you for anything :)

    The love you two have for one another is beautiful, full of passion and determination to live your lives how you want to!

    There’s one thing my fiance and i say on a regular basis based on where we live in the UK “gosh this country seems so full of narrow minded idiots.” I have a friend who is struggling being accepted in the work place because he is transgender and he has realised now how petty/old fashioned people can be.

    There will always be horrible pathetic cowards who hide behind the internet. For me they can go **** themselves. Let the haters hate, their lives must be boring to want to be so heavily negative about you and your wonderful husband.

    Keep up the blogging and vlogging and most importantly KEEP BEING YOU!!! Thats why everyone admires Grace :)

  103. I will say that this mirrors my experience in dating a Japanese woman. The racism came from her father and was curiously nuanced. As a white man who spoke Japanese, I was, in his eyes, better than both a non-Japanese person and a non-Japanese speaking person of Japanese descent, but I wasn’t as good as a “true” Japanese man.

    Chin up and sorry you’re getting it from both sides of the Pacific.

    • I have never seen what you say I have been married to a Japanese woman 44 years the only place I have ever seen or heard is from white women and black men

  104. Those are just…I don’t even have words to describe what I am thinking because of how sick those comments are.

    They don’t have the right to tell you what/who makes you happy nor do they have the right to tell you who to marry, even if they “apologise” for what they said, or “feel sorry for you”.

    That is just a random excuse that they throw into the mix to make themselves not look as bad as if they had outright insulted you, but the things is, they are just as bad, if not a lot worse because they used words such as “I’m so sad for you/your parents” or “I’m sorry”.

    Leave them alone! You can feel/think all you like, but if you cared even a little bit about them, or had a shred of decency to your name you wouldn’t say such things!

    I’m sorry you have to go through all of this Grace and Ryosuke. :(
    You guys are awesome and I’m really happy for the both of you that you have managed to find the person you can be happy with, even if they had to come from the other side of the planet.

    I know the sting of those rotten comments won’t go away, but at least you can find comfort in that hundreds and hundreds of people around the world like you two for who you are both individually and as a married couple, which I hope will overshadow (even a little bit) all the nasty people. :)

  105. We are not perfect here in Hawai’i but it gets way more complicated to be hateful toward others because of perceived differences. I have friends who look white but have so many different “races” in their background that it would confuse a lot of the ignorant people who throw out hateful comments.

    One of our friends – I once asked her what her ancestry is. She chuckled and started reading a laundry list. White – IIRC – English and a couple others. Asian – Chinese. Pacific Islander – Hawaiian and Chamorro. There was one or two more I’ve forgotten. She looks white but is culturally more Hawaiian.

    IIRC – most marriages in Hawaii are between people from different or with multiple ethnic backgrounds.

  106. Wow…I think that the hateful things people say is truly only a reflection of themselves. Sometimes they try to be subtle but still shows who THEY are. What they say is NOT true, so don’t believe those lies. Sometimes they may pop up, but you have to grab that thought and say: is it right? Is it true? And is it good? If any of those answer no, then it doesnt deserve any part of you. I dont normally respond on the internet, but I thought it might encourage you. You and Ryosuke are a great couple and wish you all the best!

  107. I don’t know why people have to be angry about something as rare as AMWF relationships. It’s like trying to fight a war with a rare albino rhino.

  108. Unbelievable. I don’t know why people even make an effort to give comments and emails like these. What benefit does is give them?

    The quality of the relationship is what should be looked at. As long as both (or all) parties respect eachother, there should be no problem.

    When those comments/thoughts pop up again, just remember that for every one person that says those things, know that there are MANY more people that back/support you. Plus, you don’t need their approval anyway.

  109. *drumroll* You are awesome. Your gentleman husband is awesome. The future is your oyster!

  110. Frederick Lim // 18 April, 2016 at 1:02 pm //

    Don’t feel hurt, Grace and Ryosuke. The more you feel hurt, the more they will keep doing the same.

    Haters feed on your reaction of hurt and pain. That is who they are. They see you feeling hurt and they will keep doing the same. Over the years I have learnt to simply ignore them. Think of them as someone who eat feces as part of their diet. And they are pressuring the rest of us to do the same. I repeat them eating feces. But I won’t feel hurt because I don’t.

    Why? Well, I simply don’t eat feces. So no matter how much haterz say or write, I am a porous being. Winds go thru me but they will never knock me down.

    Ignore them. Be like a monk and always stay calm. :)

  111. Jessica Rios // 18 April, 2016 at 1:02 pm //

    As a person of a mixed race who married a person of mixed race and made even more mixed kids, I can confidently say people who marry outside of their culture and race and other things of that nature have prettier kids. It’s kinda like how pure bred dogs are pretty sure but the mutts are cuter and nicer. But then again I am biased cause I love my kids and my dogs. :)

    • Yes, you’re biased and rude, and let be honest, racist. It’s like writting that Black or White or Asian people are more beautiful than people of other races. I think everywhere can happen beautiful people, mixed race people are just as beautiful as any others,

  112. You two are like a sort of…”adorkable” (for lack of a better term) couple in the cutest way. Don’t let these losers get to you. You guys are awesome and loving and seriously one of the cutest couples I’ve ever seen it hurts! Take care you two, you guys are the coolest!

  113. Well, I’m in a interracial relationship myself, except that I’m white and my long term boyfriend is what we called “pardo” (brownish skin, curly hair, similar to most latins). But luckily Brazil is probably one of the most mixed countries in the world, so nobody really cares. Growing up in a environment like this allows me to only wonder how is it like to suffer from people judging you because your partner belongs to a different race. Anyway, I think you and Ryosuke are one of my favorite couples and I think you too belong together, you are perfect for each other and beautiful.

  114. Yes, it’s heartbreaking there are people who can watch you two happy people laughing and loving one another and being bright shiny lights for your spouse and thinking anything *but,* “wow I’m glad they found each other the world’s a better place with them together brightening it up.”

    Sad for them. The rest of us are really glad you two share your lives with us. :)

  115. So sorry you have to face such horrific comments such as the ones you mentioned. I think you and Ryosuke are the sweetest couple around and wish you a life full of never ending happiness and joy. Some people are just miserable in their own lives and they try to ruin others. Just let your happiness outshine their hatred and ignorance.

  116. So sad this is still going on these days. My wife is Japanese and clearly our daughters are mixed. We do not have as large an online profile as yourself but we are all in this together. Racism is NEVER OK. In fact bigotry of any kind, whether religious, sexual or racial. Its a constant struggle so please keep pushing back Grace!!

  117. Don’t let them get to you. It’s a shame that racism still exists and people need to just respect and move on. Love, Peace to the both of you

    Much Love from Texas ♡

  118. There are lots of crazy people with crazy ideas in this world. They aren’t worth your bandwidth. Its best just to avoid and/or drop them from your mind as quick as possible.

    It sucks that it is hard to avoid in social media if you have an audience. Maybe there are some meditation techniques out there that can help you to drop these comments quicker.

    Its strange to think that there are people that do heinous things every day that we never spend a single thought on. Yet personal insults can create a rage that is a huge effort to drop.

    This happens to me too. If I try to (or sometimes automatically) I can recall even small offences from people I met only once many years ago that make me angry. Its easy to get caught up in what I would do to come out on top if I was to re-live these situations (which, of course I never will). Its a shame the brain works this way sometimes.

  119. Well I love you guys! Slanty eyes, poop hats, accents, randomness, big hearts and all! I think your babies would be cute, sweet, playful, and smart..lol and multilingual.. That’s so cool in my opinion!!

    • Given the tone of your message I belive your sentiment is a kind one but do please know that the term “slanty eyes” is terribly racist. I trust you won’t want to use it again now you know this.

  120. I have to agree with Denis. What do these people care? Like what do they think you’re going to do? See one of their hateful comments and have an eye-opening moment and thank god they told you all about this huge mistake you made!! ( insert ALL the sarcasm) People need to get a clue!! You and Ryosuke are lovely people!!

  121. You know, I never thought about the second type of racist comment you mentioned. (I’ve barely even had the first.) Are you never tempted to respond with, “Please don’t be mad at me, but it would be a better looking world if you didn’t view it through an eighteenth century monocle?”

    I’m not sure I could help myself. I’d keep myself awake at night thinking of the perfect burn. Though it would be totally wasted on such idiots, of course.

  122. David Arth // 18 April, 2016 at 11:52 am //

    Ditto here but being big and muscular and quick with a smile auto deletes the crud before it comes to the surface? In reality the mixed blood kids are the cutest and smartest of all! One glance thwarts all the nonsense. I hear from the religious zealots more than any of the brain starved.

  123. I get annoyed when people act racist, but try to act innocent like. They always claim, “Well, not to sound racist, but… (insert racist remark).” As for people claiming racism is over, they’re naive or a part of a privileged group.

  124. :/ This makes me incredibly sad for anyone to go through hate mail. It’s indescribable to know how much pain a seemingly harmless comment can give. I admire you, Grace, for all that you do and all that you achieve. Ryosuke and you are both beautiful people with beautiful souls that make this cold world warmer. Keep up with the great work and thank you for every positive messages you send out.

    Love from the USA.

  125. I understand what you’re going through. I’m African-American and my wife is Japanese. We have a beautiful daughter and a good life but the haters are out there. Mainly we get strange looks in public but it’s easier to think that everyone has their own issues to work out. We try not to let it get to us. You guys make a wonderful couple. Stay strong keep doing all you do!

  126. I think you should happily get to marry whomever you love. Funny thing folks, we are all human beings. I am very happy for you and Ryosuke and wish you every future happiness. By the way, thank you for your very informative blogs and videos..they are delightful.

  127. S. J. Pajonas (spajonas) // 18 April, 2016 at 11:43 am //

    Ugh, this makes me so angry for you! The subtle racism is really worse than the outright spewing dog feces. This post describes internet comments so well! Thank you for speaking out!

  128. Whenever I hear about things like this I always find it so amazing; They’re not marrying you, or him. They’re not going to have or be involved with any kids you may or may not have. They’re mortgage rate or wages won’t change based on what you’re doing. The world will keep spinning regardless of what anyone thinks. So it’s amazing that they waste so much time on it.

    I don’t even feel angry at them, and it would be rather arrogant of me to be angry or offended on behalf of someone else; but it just strikes me as so odd that they would waste so much of their time when they’re only going to live one life, yet there they are wasting time worrying about what someone else is doing when they should be working to advance their own lives.

    People are strange.

  129. Virtual hugs to you. Your relationship is beautiful and you will make beautiful and intelligent children together.

  130. Thank you for posting this Grace. It’s a real eye opener about how the world can still be hateful. It’s sad that you two have to go through that and it’s not fair either. People can be hurtful and they are hard to ignore at times. Hang in there and know that you are loved by the people that do matter and do support you

  131. reid b fishler // 18 April, 2016 at 11:31 am //

    The world will never be perfect… But its people like the two of you that help us get closer. Dont let the people will problems ruin it for the rest of us…

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