The Pros and Cons of Moving Across the World for Love

I moved across the world for love.

It wasn’t as “irrational” and spur-of-the-moment as people might think, though. We both knew pretty well what we were getting into.

As an intercultural couple with two different passport countries, we both knew that continuing our relationship meant one of us would have to relocate to the others country.

There are a lot of good and bad things about moving across the world for love. I started thinking about this again, when I read this post by a friend who is anxious about moving across the world for love. Everyone’s experiences are different, but this has been my takeaway on the pros and cons.

The pros and cons of moving across the world for love:

Christmas Japan Roppongi

Pro: You get to be together and don’t have to worry about regretting “the one that got away” for the rest of your life (or something like that)

I vividly remember when I was in high school, I befriended an older woman at work. She had done the whole “pursue a high powered career” and move to New York thing – dumping her boyfriend in the process. She made a ton of money and now was approaching her 40s, angry and frustrated that no one she dated was anything like that boyfriend she broke up with to follow her dream.

“I’m not saying you should sacrifice your dreams for some guy,” she told me, “But you should try to come up with some sort of compromise, or you will end up regretfully looking through old Facebook photos at the ‘one that got away.'”

I don’t know why, but something about that really just stuck with me.

Trust me, I’m not the kind of person who thinks you need a relationship to be happy. But I am the kind of person that believe that there is nothing more toxic to your happiness than regret. Regret sucks. Regrets can ruin your life. 

I was 100% sure that Ryosuke was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with… after about three months of dating. Sure, we both made a couple personal and career sacrifices for the sake of our relationship, but they’re not really sacrifices when I am happier now, living with him in Tokyo, than I ever even DREAMED I could be.

I don’t believe in “the one.” I think there are hundreds of people in the world that have the potential to make you happy to varying degrees. I also happen to think that Ryosuke and my relationship is the best possible combination of those people.

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Con: You will (probably) be completely dependent on your significant other for the first couple months/years after you move.

Which, of course, really sucks. I used to not be able to go to the city office (to file paperwork) or hospital without Ryosuke. I didn’t speak enough Japanese, I didn’t know how the bus/train lines worked, I didn’t know what paperwork I needed to bring, I didn’t understand the customs.

Simply put, the first couple months I moved to Japan kind of sucked.

Pro: You get to live in a new country and experience a new culture!

You get a chance to learn about a new culture and really examine your own, figuring out what makes you, well, you. That’s an amazing opportunity.

Con: You probably won’t ever feel like you truly “belong” in that culture – and are bound to make tons of mistakes when you first move.

Sometimes I forget I’m foreign. I’m almost completely self-dependant now, I understand Japanese culture enough to get by.

But then Ryosuke and I will be out shopping and a small child will point at me and shout “Look! It’s a foreigner!!” … and then I remember, “oh yeah, I technically don’t belong in this society and never will…”

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Pro: You can learn a lot more about yourself.

Con: It can be difficult to find a community abroad. Your significant other will (most likely) have a much better support system and more friends than you, at least in the beginning.

Pro: No more Long Distance!

Because let’s face it, long distance relationships kind of suck. I’ve written about them here, here, and here – and while the main point of each post was tips for surviving the distance, there was also quite a bit of “this really sucks” mixed in.

Con: Moving abroad for love is huge commitment and you will probably wonder “did I make a mistake?” or “what am I doing with my life??” quite a bit.

Or at least I used to wonder this every week for the first six months.

It’s funny, I knew 100% that Ryosuke was the one for me. After moving to Japan, our relationship became even better (which is funny, because I didn’t actually think that was possible. We were already so in sync by the time we got married, it was kind of cool to see that keep improving)… but I still had problems.

I’m under the impression that people need three things to be completely fulfilled in life:

  1. Relationship fulfillment (relationships with a significant other and/or good friends)
  2. Job fulfillment (creating or working in a field that you believe in, so you get a sense of purpose and meaning)
  3. Personal fulfillment (having enough time/energy to peruse your hobbies, try new things, and live the kind of life that makes you happy)

I believe that you can’t be fulfilled by just one of these – and you really shouldn’t try. Being married to the “right” person won’t necessarily make you happy, especially if you’re in an environment that smothers you. You significant other can’t (and shouldn’t) be your everything.

Pro: It is a chance to thrive in a new environment and pick up a new skill. For example, I started this blog and published a comic book about my life in Tokyo.

Other friends have written a book, started volunteer organizations, taught yoga, taken up long distance bicycling… really, this list goes on. But I don’t think I could have started this blog (or, you know, people would actually read it) if I didn’t live in Tokyo. Texan in Texas just doesn’t have quite the same ring or fan base.

Texan in Tokyo comics living in Japan gaijin mangaka cartoon freckles in Japan

Con: Your job opportunities will (probably) decrease. Some countries don’t let spouses of nationals hold a job; even if you have working visa, finding a job is difficult. Most spouses seem to just teach English (or whatever their native language is).

A lot of my friends who moved abroad for love aren’t legally able to work in said country. It’s incredibly frustrating.

When I first moved to Japan, I didn’t have a “working spouse visa” for the first four months and I nearly went crazy. It was so hard. We were living solely on Ryosuke’s income (which really, was barely enough to support two people) and I felt like a failure of a person.

When I eventually got a visa and applied to a whole slew of jobs, the only ones that called me into an interview were startups and English teaching jobs. And, I only got a job at two English schools.

So now I teach English 1-2 times a week (which can be rather fun. I do enjoy teaching. Just not as much as I enjoy other things). I appear on TV from time-to-time as a token foreigner. I freelance. I ghostwrite for a couple blogs. I draw comics for a couple magazines. I’ve found my “groove”… but it was really hard.

Pro: You get to see a whole other side of your significant other.

Con: You might not like that new side.

Con: People change depending on their environment – your significant other might become an entirely different person. You can also change. You might not like the people you change into.

Alright, I’m going to get a little dark here. If you don’t want to read it, just skip to the next “Pro.”

People change. People change even more when they’re put in a different environment. When I first met Ryosuke, I fell in love with the person he was changing into. He was clever, absolutely ridiculous, and wonderfully optimistic about the future.

He still is, of course, but when I studied abroad in Japan with him… he started to change. And, for a while, I didn’t like the person he was changing into. Mind you, this is long before we ever got engaged, so the relationship wasn’t that serious. We had a lot of arguments about things I can’t even remember, but I distinctly remember sitting on a park bench with Ryosuke, two months after I arrived in Japan, and telling him “I don’t like the people we’re becoming. At all.”

After that, things got better. We still changed, but we changed together. I fell more and more in love with Ryosuke; he felt more comfortable sharing his deep, dark feelings with me.

We were lucky.

I’ve heard from a lot of people who weren’t so lucky.

About once a week, I get an email along the lines of:

“When I met my boyfriend/fiance/husband in [insert country], he used to shower me with praise. We were so in love. We never argued. We talked about marriage. Then his contract at work ended and he had to go back to Japan… so I followed him. When we got to Japan, he changed very quickly. Now we argue all the time. He controls all my money and controls who I spend time with. He doesn’t say “I love you” anymore. Sometimes he even hits me and calls me stupid. I don’t know what to do! How do I get back the man I fell in love with? Please help me!”

These messages break my heart… because I don’t have an answer. You can’t get him back. You might have fallen in love with who he was in, for instance, Germany – but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are still compatible with him when you’re in Japan.

Pro: It’s an adventure.

Most people never get the change to live abroad. You do! Enjoy it while you can!

romance amwf couple relationships interracial japanese american couple dating tokyo japan

Con: It puts a lot of stress on a relationship, especially a new one. There is a sort of “this has to work out, otherwise I’ve just made a terrible, irreversible mistake” kind of feeling, running in the background of the relationship.

Most people who live in the same passport country meet, fall in love, date for a while, do a trial move-in, actually move in, get engaged, and then get married. It’s all done in gradual steps.

If you’re moving across for love, you don’t get that luxury. You don’t get those small steps, to ease you into this horrible irreversible decision. You just have to jump in and hope the water isn’t too bad.

Pro: The experience makes both of you more unique.

I love who I have become. Ryosuke has made me a much better person. I’ve also been able to learn tons about myself while living abroad. It’s fun. Apparently I’ve made him a better and more unique person too.

Con: It’s incredibly difficult to learn a new language, especially when it comes to hospitals, taxes, and other important necessities.

About two months ago, I had to get a cavity filled. It was my first cavity ever (*gasp*), so I had no idea how the process worked. The dentist told me they weren’t going to use any numbing stuff, so I should just raise my hand if/when it hurt.

And then they put a towel on my face so I couldn’t see and started drilling at that tooth. It hurt. A lot. But when I raised my hand, he asked me to rate it on a scale (I think). I said 8. I still didn’t get the numbing stuff.

They finished filling the cavity. I paid and left.

In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t too bad. But going to the hospital, government office, dentist, or phone company office in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language (perfectly, at least) can be rather traumatizing.

I’m glad I can go to the hospital alone, while Ryosuke is at work. I get sick a lot – this is very important. However, I remember when I first moved to Japan and barely spoke any Japanese… I had to go everywhere important with him. It was stressful and difficult.

——————–

This post turned out a lot more cynical than I thought it would. Sorry about that.

I don’t regret moving across the world for love. Sure, I have my days where the whole world seems against me, and I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t picked my overall happiness over my career.

But wondering won’t do me any good, so I rarely open that door.

For now, I’m just going to draw a couple more comics before lunch (my second book is coming out in February!), then meet up with my husband for an early dinner near his company.

Wedding Ursinus College Grace and Ryosuke amwf wedding amww couple

About Grace Buchele Mineta

I got into the writing business by accident. Now I live in the countryside near Tokyo with my husband, Ryosuke, where I draw comics, blog, and make videos about our daily life. Contact: Website | More Posts

30 Comments on The Pros and Cons of Moving Across the World for Love

  1. Hi Grace. I am happy to have stumbled upon your blog as my own transition abroad to a new country in the sake of love has raised many eye opening insights into myself and my relationship itself. We met while traveling in India, spent almost a month together in Thailand afterwards to test our waters and to feel how it all felt, and now we are living together in Buenos Aires considering a possible move to the U.S. in the near future. It has been a dream come true it’s almost scary. But we believe it and know and trust in it since we were lead to one another amidst the doubts we had along the way. It has been an adjustment settling here in BA since I as well had the same thought provoking inquiry as to whether or not I made the right choice or where is my life going to be heading. It’s definitely a test I believe to remove whatever holds us back from receiving its Grace and sometimes it doesn’t come easy. The struggle at times also brings us closer together. Finding work has come on its own time slowly slowly. Something I will never regret. Definitely requires a leap of faith, for some that is. I have loved reading your story and adventure. All the best ~ William

  2. Hello Grace,

    I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while… maybe you’ve written about it already but still: why didn’t Ryosuke move to the US? Who made this decision to settle in Japan? It would even make more sense, it’s not that difficult to find a job, plus the job itself would not be as stressful as it is in Japan…

  3. You have probably heard this before, but I will say it anyway; Thank you for sharing (, this and every other post/ comic)! All though I’m not in this situation myself, it is uplifting to read, and I think you are incredibilly tuff, gutsy, and totally awesome!! I will go to Osaka in April to study, and I find all of your post very helpful and funny.

    I think you have a very good and healthy wiew on things, and you are an inspiration and support to many! And if things ever seem somewhat black again, just remember that even if things would end up bad, there is no reason to regret what led you there, because you will have gained a lot in the process!

    (PS; having read one of your other posts, about doing bad things to build character, I agree with you,and rather think these troubles with language and worries about not fitting in compeletly, are those ‘bad character building’ things…)

    Anyways, much love and thanks from Norway! Ganbaru ne ;)

  4. aww. really enjoyed this post! i appreciate your honesty and candidness in your writing. i laughed aloud after reading the comic strip about your niece and choosing the princess, and also how you said, “pro…you get to see a whole other side..” “con.. you might not like that new side..”

    hahahaha…. i love how you’re keepin’ it real. =)

  5. There is a third way – move together to a third country. If I’m ever in that kind of relationship again, that’s what I will do.

    • I completely and wholeheartedly agree with you, a third country was by far the best option for me.

      • well, not for me haha :D but I’m so happy for both of you :)

        • Hi! I just read your post where you say you don’t like living in the US, but maybe if you and your husband picked a different third country it would be better? Something like England, Holland or Canada, and maybe in a bigger city so you would have more chances to engage professionally?

          What I mean is that moving to a third country makes sense when both parties benefit from the move, otherwise the balancing effect of this solution doesn’t work.

          My best wishes anyway ;)

          • I think it also depends if both people can actually find a job in said third country. Visas are a HUGE problem – especially if you’re moving to a country where you don’t speak the language and/or neither of you has citizenship.

            My husband and I would pretty much only consider a third country if one of us could get a contract with a company and we knew we would be able to score a working visa for our spouse as well (which is pretty rare). It’s more or less the “two body” problem.

  6. A person who might “become someone else” when in their home country is a very important factor to keep in mind. When my husband and I stayed in Austria for a few months for the birth of our baby, he was very much dependant on me. It put a lot of stress on our relationship, but it was often stress from the outside (eg. other people we needed to depend on for help). My husband was kind of culture-shocked and a little depressed, I think. It was much better once we lived in our own place with baby and had a car we could use. But it’s also an experience that will make you grow as a couple and maybe the next time you are in that place, it will be easier. Especially, if the other person has had some time to get used to the different culture and language.

  7. Hi Grace! I really liked this post. I actually published a Blend of the Week about the exact same topic some time ago on my blog ( http://theloveblender.com/2014/08/17/blend-of-the-week-7-relocating-for-love/ )

    The part about the difficulty of finding a job in a foreign country really struck a cord with me; I feel incredibly lucky that my professional field is a very international and mobile one, so it is always relatively easy for me to find a job in a foreign country, even without speaking the local language. Thankfully my boyfriend works in the same field so for him it is the same.

    I can’t imagine giving up on my career to relocate for love, even though I certainly don’t judge anyone who chose to do so. For me it would be way too big of a sacrifice and I am pretty sure it would end up destroying my relationship in the long term.

    Just my two cents!

  8. All of this is so true – dating someone from another country has so many unique aspects that come along with it…especially that feeling of ‘it’s do or die’ because if you break up it’s not just the end of the relationship, but probably means a big move and lifestyle change as well.

  9. I really like the three things you talked about that are needed to be completely fulfilled in life. I’m glad you pointed them out, I’ll keep them in mind for the future and will aim for all three! People who are deprived in terms of relationship fulfilment are never happy. Even if they’re single, they may not have any close friends or family that they can rely on and find comfort in. For the past few months, I’ve gained a lot of new close friends and lost one who generally made me unhappy and insecure. I’ve really started to see the importance of having good relationships. My very minimal history of romantic relationships has not been too great but I’ll have opportunities for that when I go to uni.
    Job fulfilment I recognise as incredibly important too. I’m not yet sure what career I’ll have in the future but I know what I’m going to study and what it could possibly lead to. I’ve always strived to do best in what I am good at and enjoy. I could’ve chosen to take the science route and become a doctor or engineer, knowing my future job is guaranteed but although I did fairly well with science, I never enjoyed it and it was quite a struggle at times. For those who love it, it’s good for them but I find too many people are sacrificing what they enjoy for money. I suppose this can be seen as a good thing by some but a lot of the time, it’s the person’s parents that force them into it and who can be quite shocked when their child expresses a desire to follow a different path in life. I remember once hearing of a teacher being contacted by a student they used to teach who was working but was really unhappy (don’t remember what their job was). It made me really think about the importance of being satisfied when you work as no on wants to be unhappy for the rest of their lives, no matter how much they are earning.
    And finally, personal fulfilment! This is definitely something that everyone needs. I see life as an adventure, where the possibilities to discover new things are endless. I love trying new things and never want to stop learning. Not being able to do this would kill me!

    Moving across the world for love sounds like the biggest decision someone could ever make in their lifetime but if it turns out great like it has with you and Ryosuke, then it’s definitely worthwhile. I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic so it makes me really happy to read about your relationship. (=^-ω-^=)

    P.S. If you hear a child say, “Look! It’s a foreigner!!” you should just act really confused and pretend like you’re not a foreigner at all haha :D

  10. I think it is just right to say that there are pros, but cons too.I didn’t find your article to be too cynical, just realistic.
    I personally haven’t moved for love (yet) but my year abroad made me face some of the cons already (like not belonging or not being fully indipendent) and still, I would do it all over again at least for the sake of experience.
    P.S I get the thing about not believing in “the one” but from outside it’s a little hard not to think you are each other’s Soulmate with a capital letter :D

  11. I liked what you said about not believing in “the one”. I agree!

    I don’t know if I would move for love… if it fitted in my general scheme of things, then maybe. But now I will never know as I met my bf when I was already in China.

    Life is constantly forcing you to make decisions and it is easy to think “what if I had chosen the other path?”, specially when you are feeling down. But no matter what you choose, there will always be tons of “what if”s!

  12. Oh Grace, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve commented here/on Youtube once or twice, my partner is Norwegian and I’m Greek, and I’m gonna move there. I know those woes all too well and I haven’t even moved yet!

    The future move is stressing me out a lot. Not that I don’t want to be with him, but I’m 24 with no job, no solid Norwegian language skills and compared to their professional standards for the graphic design fields (which I studied) I’m probably way subpar. He’s 20 with enough skills to get him odd jobs in kitchens to cook, and he’s going to enter unis soon. When we move, I need to be the “adult” and supporter, even though he’s not asked or implied it. I can get away with not looking like a foreigner, until I open my mouth. They have so many dialects with distinct differences (in grammar as well as sound) that I can’t grasp anything besides a vague, nondescript Norwegian accent.

    I know we’re both going to change. I think my change will largely be due to culture shock and personal crisis stress. I live with my parents, I’m pretty dependent at the moment due to circumstances and then I’ll be thrown in the deep end in a foreign country expected to pick up the slack immediately. No doubt about it, I’m gonna be a mess for a long time.

    But I know it’ll be worth it when I pull through. It’s a huge, life changing decision, but it’s the best choice I’ll have made. And even if at first it sucks, I have support and a family over there who won’t let me fall through the cracks. It’s so important and I’m terrified, but excited.

  13. My wife and I met in university abroad. She from China and from Germany studying in Finland. We moved together rather quickly and got married 2 1/2 years later.
    We always planned to move away from Finland as the economy has been bad there for s long time and I couldn’t not find any jobs there. As my wife never wanted to go back to China thedecision was easy to move to germany. Now we live already over three months here and I changed…not that i am doing anything actively bad but it always appears that I am super busy and do t have enough time for the family. However in this case it has nothing to do with moving to my homecountry but because I finally got a stable job which means I am up at six am and come back home after four pm. Before I was basically always at home and wife wife had a job so you can see that we both have to relearn how everything works out :)

  14. First of all, thank you for putting a link to my post :D

    Now, this article was really nice to read. As a person who’s probably going to move for love, it’s relaxing to hear about stories that did work out! I agree with all the pros and cons (and especially the “stress on the relationship” thing. It’s so true!).

    Also, that might sound weird, but I’m glad you wrote about when Ryosuke and you were changing, and that you were fighting because of that. Sometimes, on internet, we tend to put forward all the beautiful sides of our relationships, but it sets an almost unattainable dream of the perfect relationship for the readers (just like Hollywood movies!). I like when you write fluff stuff, but I also like when you go a bit deeper in the dark (like your post on fighting a while back). That’s also why I wrote about my anxiety to move abroad and the fact that I complain and argue a lot with Hitomi recently, so the readers can see no relationship is perfect in this world!

    Thanks for this post, awesome as always!

  15. I had serious doubts the first year after I moved to Japan. I didn’t speak Japanese (still don’t…) and was completely dependent on Yasu. He lived near Osaka and I lived and taught English near Nagoya. So after three years of LDR between the Netherlands and Japan, we still were kind of in a LDR within Japan. I cried a lot and the Japanese culture was not agreeing with me. My second year in Japan I transferred to a school in Osaka and we were finally able to see eachother every weekend and very sometimes even during the week. I was remembered of why I even came to Japan, my love for him, and secondly the adventure. Life was good and our relationship got better and better. We got married and moved to San Franciso together and years later we’ve ended up in England (for now). It’s hard to believe how far we came when I think about how miserable my first year in Japan was. Now I’m hoping we’ll move back to Japan in a few years. Although, the whole dentist drilling without numbing scared the heck out of me and might change my mind again ;)!

  16. This article is so cute and really thoughtful to how the world is for people living in International relationships especially when you had to move to Japan. Great article and can’t wait to read more. Plus the picture of you with long hair looks so pretty!! You look pretty with short hair, but long hair also suits you. Keep writing!

  17. I been dating my boyfriend Mew from Thailand for two years . I would love to study abroad to see him again but my mother won’t let me . So I have to wait until he come to see me.
    I never thought I will have a long distance relationship, since I got hurt once but Mew is my other half .Even we are young, we are engaged. We really love your blog and comic :) it inspired us to keep being strong.

  18. While I didn’t move to Taiwan to be with my husband, my 2 year plan to live and travel around Asia has turned into 15 years and ongoing. However, I feel that in some ways it is my home here now. We have a place to call our own and I enjoy the conveniences of living here. Plus, everything is cheaper here in Taiwan when compared to Canada so you get more bang for your buck. I think having the freedom to drive wherever I want to (either car or scooter) helps as well, but I still suck at parking (a car). haha

  19. I moved abroad for love after graduating college. Actually I job-hunted for six months and couldn’t even get an interview in my home country, but was snapped up by a Japanese eikaiwa company, so to Japan I went for the second time. The job was a one-year contract, our purpose was “use this year to date a lot and decide if we’re getting engaged or parting ways”

    We got engaged^^ even if we hadn’t though, it would have been a valuable year and I could have gone home/continued working in Japan knowing I tried.

    My big dream is not about career but about being a housewife and homeschooling my kids so I was very flexible about jobs, we both work and save one income until we have kids, but we can’t really homeschool in Japan so we’re hoping to move back to the U.S.

    Oddly enough I’ve never thought “what am I doing with my life?” Everything just is a matter of course^^

  20. That’s so sad about the letters you receive! Those type should leave straight away.

  21. I think at the beginning of my relationship, when I started to think about moving for love, I was always worried that other people would judge me, and I think a lot of people are judgmental, especially if they know someone who was super optimistic about moving for their spouse and then it didn’t work out. They like to say ‘I told you so’ but I think it’s far too complicated and everyone has a different situation. No one can predict what will happen. But it’s good to make a pro con list for yourself before and even after your move to evaluate what you can do to personally gain more fulfillment. I think once I realized that I don’t have to be alone, I can move up in my career even after I move to Korea, and I am excited to move there for other reasons, not just for marriage, I felt less anxious. I was really freaking out a while back, but now I am more excited than anything. Of course life won’t be a walk in the park every day, but it never is. Anywhere we go, we will come up against challenges. I remind myself what my life would be like if I moved back to America and I am so glad that I can rule that out as an option, because honestly my life is so much more fulfilling in Asia. I notice you wrote more about the cons, but making a gratitude list can really help bring you out of negative thoughts. We have so much to be grateful for, so it’s good to remember that even though there are cons to any situation.

  22. This really helped me a lot. It makes me feel much better about moving across the world (Texas —> Korea) for love. I knew it was hard but hearing from someone who has done it puts my mind a little more at ease. Now I feel like I’m more prepared for challenges that I might face later in life and I’m so glad that you talked about this.

    • I’m glad you found this helpful. Really, moving abroad is a lot more different than I thought it would be, but if I could do it again, I don’t think I would change anything (except for maybe studying Japanese more ahead of time)

  23. I don’t regret moving with Sing I knew it would happen because of our backgrounds but I never imagined I will be stuck in America. For a year or two, I thought. Now it’s been almost 2 years since we moved and I can’t see anything changing. With all the respect to you and other fellow Americans I just don’t fit into American lifestyle at all, especially living in a small town without driving license (not that I don’t want, I just don’t have the ability to be a good driver, plus I’m -4 I can’t see myself in the mirror without glasses haha). I feel great back in Asia, but since my education is not on demand back in Hong Kong and I’m not a native English speaker I’m practically out of options (although I plan to write to few magazines in Hong Kong so wish me luck!) and I can’t ask Sing to quit his good job and fast growing career so I can be unemployed back in Asia and having him spend 5.5 days a week in some factory in South China. Do I regret it? Sometimes, I won’t say I don’t when I cry about this, but then I try to think that it’s this or we might not be together at all. It pretty much sucks to be so dependent on someone and see no changes, but if I think of it there are more pros than cons, plus since I’m taking taking my future in my own hands I’m full of energy. It’s just me and lifestyle here is not a really good match which can be depressing, especially living 200m away from graveyard haha :)
    I sometimes read forums and girls say ‘yes, I would totally move with him’ but they usually don’t think if they can work, if there’s a demand on their profession, how much freedom you have when it goes to work, study etc. as the spouse. It’s a big decision, but I wish in the end to be happy with whatever choice they make :)

    • I also don’t think I’m a good fit for American culture. I’m kind of awkward and have weird hobbies (reading, long walks, etc) – so I never really fit into the whole “party culture” when I was growing up.
      It’s interesting to see all the paths my friends have been taking, but I feel more comfortable in Japan, where I “understand” the rules a bit more.

      I remember being really touched when I read your story a while back. It certainly sounds hard… especially not being able to work and not seeing any chance of the future changing. I think so many people are who want to move abroad for love or move to their partner’s country, without really thinking about the future. It’s so hard to live on just one income and can be really isolating…

      In any case, I’m glad you have your blog and can meet people/reach out that way. It’s kind of like working, I guess :D

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