How Japanese Onsen “Fixed” my Self-Esteem and Body Issues

 

Onsen hot bath Japan Japanese hot springs

Most women don’t like their bodies. Arms are too long, boobs are too small, thighs are too thick, teeth are crooked – women who are 100% ok with their bodies are few and far between. On good days, I’m 98% ok with my body. On bad days, that figure hovers around 60%.

But it wasn’t always like that.

I remember hating my body when I was growing up. I wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be pretty so badly. I wanted to be just like those other girls, with their perfect bodies and flawless skin – radiating confidence.

As the years passed, I grew into my frame. My boobs never got any bigger, but my acne disappeared and my hair “fixed itself.” My braces came off and suddenly glasses became “in.” I went from being a shy gangly nerd into a conventionally attractive person.

But it wasn’t good enough. I used to think if I just was 10 pounds lighter, if my hair was blonde, if my nose was smaller, I would be happy. If I looked like that woman on the cover of the gas-store magazine, I would be happy.

Now I’ve realized it doesn’t work that way.

I can’t look like that woman in the magazine because that woman don’t even like the woman in the magazine. It’s Photoshop; picking and choosing the best traits to make a “cocktail” of what the best human is supposed to look like.

And living in Japan, where most white girls are taller, heavier, “curvier,” and more “rough” than most of the other women, can absolutely wreck your self confidence.

Strange as it seems, the only thing that breaks up that cycle of self-loathing and body image issues is Japanese Onsen (public bath).

In the simplest terms, Japanese Onsen is a large public bath-house, where patrons strip, wash themselves, and then bathe in any number of communal (and themed) baths. Some of the baths are filled with minerals, some are icy and refreshing, some are outside, some have jet streams to massage you while you relax in a rock chair. Check out these articles for more information on what an onsen bath is and How to do Japanese Onsen.

 

Onsen hot bath Japan Japanese hot springs sento public bath

The most memorable trait of Japanese onsen is the fact that everyone is naked.

Like no joke, you are face-to-face with a bunch of strangers junk – and no one seems to care.

The first time I did Japanese Onsen was when I was 15. I was in boarding school in the Northern island of Hokkaido, back when I knew absolutely nothing about Japanese culture (aside from Pokemon, I guess) and spoke three words of Japanese (yes, no, thank you).

I had signed up for a snowshoeing trip up in the mountains. There were seven of us: a teacher, the dorm mom, three boys, and one other girl. We climbed the mountain, slept in a tiny shack, toughed it to the summit to watch the sun rise of the horizon, and then hiked down. The whole trip was two days – and on the way back “home,” we stopped at an onsen bath house.

Onsen hot bath Japan Japanese hot springs sento public bath sulfer

 

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” I confessed to my dorm mom while we were waiting in the lobby. “Sorry, I didn’t realize we were supposed to bring a swimsuit!”

She smiled. “It’s ok, you don’t need a swimsuit.”

“But, then, um…” I gestured to everyone. “Are we just…?”

“Naked,” she clarified. “Everyone gets naked.”

Onsen hot bath Japan Japanese hot springs sento public bath sulfer

I gulped and followed her back through the curtains to the changing room. As I stepped through the curtains, I was shocked. There were dozens of naked Japanese ladies in various stages of undress. Old, young; wet, dry; chubby, skinny; everyone was different.

a typical onsen changing room

a typical onsen changing room

As my dorm mom peeled off layers of clothes, I just stood there, immobile. At 15, I had never been naked in front of another person before. I even made my mom wait outside the changing room while I tried to navigate and try on my first “big girl” bra (later I realized I had worn the wrong size for like 3 years – I was too embarrassed to get another one).

The next five minutes ticked slowly by. I fumbled with my clothes a bit, slowly unbuttoning my shirt, then glancing around the room to make sure no one was looking.

They weren’t. No one cared.

Before I knew it, my dorm mom was naked, with a tiny wash towel slung over her shoulder.

She looked at me – and I guess she knew what I was going through. “It ok,” she told me. “Everyone is scared their first time.”

My dorm mom and I, back when I first got to Japan

My dorm mom and I, back when I first got to Japan

I eventually made it to the bath. I was so nervous, I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn’t see straight. Now, looking back, I was probably having a panic attack. My anxiety only became unmanageable in late high school, early college.

Soaking in the bath was glorious.

I was still mentally wired for the first fifteen minutes, glancing around to make sure no one was looking at me – laughing at my body. No one looked. My dorm mom and I eventually nestles in a stone alcove outside, as snow gently fell. Watching the snow melt on the surface of the water was peaceful. We sat in silence.

I spent so long hating myself and my acne and my stretch marks, that I sort of forgot that everyone has their own imperfections. Mothers with a jagged C-section scar? Proof of their love for their children. Women with small oil burns along their wrists? Cooking in oil is hard.

Scars on shins from playing sports in high school, stretch marks from age, scars from life, they just show you lived.

Stretch marks, scars, rolls of fat, sagging boobs, receding hairlines, lanky frames – they are all awesome. Each imperfection only adds to someone’s personality.

Onsen hot bath Japan Japanese hot springs sento public bath

I’m not the same scared, awkward 15 year old girl, struggling to love myself when I thought no one else possibly could. I still live in Japan – now with my husband, a terrifically sexy and caring individual.

I still have body issues, but each year I love my body a little bit more.

Onsen helps. I have my own distinctive scars now too, from when I got my appendix removed on my honeymoon in Peru, that time I split my elbow open snowboarding, and from that time I sat on a pencil and the tip broke off into my leg.

When all the makeup is washed away, when people are completely naked (both physically and emotionally), with nothing to hide, something magical happens: You learn to love your body, just the way it is. Onsen teaches you that no one has the “perfect” body – and that the standards media gives you for “perfection” is stupid.

Scars, stretch marks, and flaws are fantastic. You are fantastic.

I was with my sister at Japanese Onsen last night and as we were soaking in one of the outside baths, she mused “I bet America would have much less ‘fat-shaming’ and body issues if everyone learned to just get naked together in the bath.”

IMG_7276-001 onsen japan bath japanese

About Grace Buchele Mineta

I got into the writing business by accident. Now I live in the countryside near Tokyo with my husband, Ryosuke, where I draw comics, blog, and make videos about our daily life. Contact: Website | More Posts

80 Comments on How Japanese Onsen “Fixed” my Self-Esteem and Body Issues

  1. Agreed, it’s definitely helped me too :)

  2. fiveOclockTea // 3 July, 2015 at 7:18 pm //

    That was a really nice article :) and very true! Eveyone has their Problem zones, and most of the time no one but yourself sees them.

    But there was one Thing I was a Little bit shocked about: You have NEVER been naked in front of another Person until you were 15? How? didn’t you Change your clothes during Gym/Swimming classes at School?
    Or didn’t you go to a Sauna, or a thermal spring? Is that an american Thing? I’m german, so I just can’t imagine…

    • Actually I am german too ( and I know this comment is like ancient by now, but still) and I would go as far as saying I ever got naked in front of anyyone until the age of like 18 when I got my first ‘real’ boyfriend who somehow managed to convince me… But still, I would only undress myself in front of very few people, like my two or three best friends and my boyfriend (still the same one). So….it’s really not that shocking. :D

  3. This is an old post, but I have to comment on how beautifully written it is. I had a similar ephiphany in the changing room at the YMCA-my onetime favorite gym. Growing up in L.A., this is one of the most body-conscious places in the world, but that Y dressing room was composed of every age and body type. I wish we had onsen here, too…the soaking baths sound like heaven.

  4. I cried when I read this blog post because it really hits home for me. I may put up a tough girl facade and act like I don’t care what people think but depending on what they say and my mood it can really hurt me. Sadly I still don’t think myself to be attractive even though I’m 25. It’s just my life isn’t going the way I want and it’s my fault it’s not that way. The only think I love about myself is my long hair. I’m average height (5’4”) and chubby (around the 160’s lbs)

    The reason why I have image problems is because of my family. I kept hearing things like, “Oh you’re getting fat” or you should lose weight” or “you’re getting big like your Aunty Jessica” or “you’re turning into a butterball.” I hear this ALL the time at family parties and that’s I always hide from everyone at parties because I don’t want to deal with it. I still do sometimes. It makes it even worse because all the relatives that have told me this are my Filipino ones. My white relatives and my Mexican grandma have never said those things to me.

    If I ever do go to an onsen I might have a panic attack as well but maybe it might help. Too bad there isn’t one in Houston (though I live southwest of it)

  5. A German comedian said: If you want to see what real people look like, don’t look into a magazine, go into a sauna.
    Its a shame though – I had some scars and I covered them with tattoos. Guess that banns me from Onsen forever… :(

    • Anonymous // 19 October, 2015 at 6:52 am //

      You just have to wear band-aids over them. If they are quite large, you’ll probably have to use several large band-aids.

  6. Amazingly written article! I just love you as a writer!

  7. You were SO cute at 15!! (Not that you aren’t anymore…:P) Such a shame with these depressions and fixed body-images… I agree that getting publicly naked like this would probably fix a lot of those issues..

  8. Why do/did you have a shirt with your brother’s name on it?

    • Hahahaha, it’s a famous brand in Texas. I can’t remember where/when I got it – but I remember it was a really comfortable shirt. I think that year a lot of us got “Fox” shirts to mock him…? Or something like that.

  9. just found your blog through “my korean husband”, and I knew I had to read this post first: couldn’t agree more with all you’ve said!
    same body issues, same way to cure them: by stripping down with a bunch of ladies at the swimming pool! I love how japanese and korean people absolutely don’t care being naked, how the grannies in the shower room scrub each other’s back and engage in conversation with strangers like they were at the bus stop…
    and yes, all our “flaws” are nothing but memories, we should love them!

  10. I remember my first experience in the jimjilbang (korean hot bath) a couple of years back, being ”wired” freaking out and checking to make sure no one was looking. It’s now one of my favourite things to do and so relaxing. It’s definitely helped with the esteem issues. ^^

  11. My boyfried (Japanese) loves baths, so we’ve been to some and discussed them a lot. What he tells me is that a lot of young Japanese, especially women, don’t want to go to onsen anymore. The culture is changing. They don’t want to be naked in front of other people. It’s getting less and less normal.

    Even at the gym I often see girls who change in secret under their shirt…

  12. One of my biggest dream trips is to go for an onsen. I had a similar experience at a jjimjilbang (Korean bathhouse, very similar) when I was 20. Thankfully there’s one in New Jersey. Granted, it’s a bit of a drive from my side of the woods, but I think it’ll be worth the trip. ^_^

  13. I love onsens so much my j-wife got worried that something happened to me and asked someone to check on me. Wish I had one near my home.

  14. Hey! 15-year-old you is gorgeous in the pic!

  15. Well-written post! Brings me back. When I studied abroad in Japan in college, I did a weekend homestay and had my first trip to an onsen. I, too, was super stressed about it (and funnily my host-brother seemed to be, too). But it was a good experience and I was never as apprehensive about onsens or being naked in locker rooms again. =P

  16. Crystal // 6 July, 2014 at 6:56 am //

    I’d love to go to the bath houses in Japan! But my Japanese husband has a big tattoo across his chest and all around left lower leg. Are there any places that allow tattooed people? I dont have any tattoos.

    • I haven’t found an onsen that allows tattoo-ed people… but you can always do a private bath at a ryokan? You can rent the room for just the two of you, so you won’t have any problems with the tattoo (because no one else can see it).

  17. Thank you for sharing your experience ! Like you I think that Imperfection just show us that we are living and is just a way of seeing. I totally agree with this french sentence : “le beau est toujours bizarre”= beauty is always strange and different.

  18. I felt quite uncomfortable too at first, but then once I got used to it, it felt quite refreshing and liberating ;) I especially love the feeling you get after going to an onsen, that sense of cleanness and lightness, if you know what I mean ;)

    Also, I believe most women only find the right balance with their body and appearance after the age of 25/ 30. I also heard that being pregnant is very helpful for some, as it reconciles them with the natural “function” of their body. Personally I think often times women look better after the age of 30, especially because they know themselves better and learn how to dress, to do their hair and make up.

    • I’m with you, I think the 25/30 year range is usually when people get a “grip” on their body, dress it up the way they want, and start kind of ignoring supposed flaws. Some people “get it” earlier; some later.

      I can see how pregnancy can help with that. Oddly enough, I had a bunch of issues after I got my appendix removed (in Peru) – I felt really self conscious about the scars and the bloating. When I went to the beach last month I was worried people were staring at my tummy scars.
      But then I went to Onsen.
      And I saw a couple other women who had appendix scars. It’s, like, not a big deal.

    • I thought I’d jump in on the pregnancy point. Yes! Being pregnant, delivery (where there’s no privacy but it’s not as if you have time to worry about that), nursing, especially the first couple of months, and then waiting for my body to change again, have changed the way I see it. I don’t tend to try as hard to hide what I see as my unsightly bits. It’s been gradual and something I didn’t expect.

      Instead of posting 2x, here’s my general comment! Thanks for posting this, Grace. It reminded me of when I was in Finland. My Finnish friends teased me about going to sauna more than a Finn. I was more fish than human growing up and thought change booths at the pool were silly so sauna wasn’t a big deal. I actually felt more self-conscious in clothes. As for onsen, I felt worried that I wasn’t clean enough before getting in. That was the most stressful part. And my glasses steaming up! And others staring at the lone foreigner, but that was more in my head than in reality.

      Around Finland time, I heard some comments directed towards people who were afraid to be naked in front of others. It was along the lines of disbelief, shock or annoyance at “puritanical values” of weird North Americans who loved their sex and violence on TV but were ashamed of their bodies. The retort was revulsion at Europeans walking through their house in their underwear. I wonder if these stereotypes still persist??

      • I’ve actually noticed that too – among my Japanese friends. They’re surprised that other American girls could be insecure/awkward about their naked bodies (to the point they refuse to go to Onsen), yet walk around in tanktops and short shorts.
        It’s all about perspective…?

        I think it’s pretty amazing (I can’t quite figure out why) that Japanese women often go to Onsen without any insecurity problems.

        • Interesting. I was curious as I forgot to mention that the Finland experience was over 15 years ago. (gulp) I guess not much has changed with confusion about the perspectives of others. By the way, I was fretting that I was sounding a bit jerkish about change booths being silly but it *was* how I thought… I’m more accepting now! :D

          Yes. I wonder about body concept and self-perception of women in Japan, too. I’m sure there’s been some research somewhere. If not, that would be an interesting topic, especially trying to propose reasons why women feel or don’t feel a certain way and then comparing that to women in other cultural contexts.

          • That actually WOULD be a really interesting topic. Hmmmmm… I will put that in “the box” (I keep a box of “possible thesis topics” for if I ever go to grad school, etc. I find it helpful to keep looking at them from time-to-time, to see if it is something I would want to research more).

            I really do wonder about body concepts and self-perception of women around the world… it really does depend on culture, ne?

          • So desu ne. Muzukashi ne? Culture, environment, family, peers, openness to persuasion or not, history and perceived place. It’s complex but I think some trends would appear, especially looking at women as humans first. I have a box of sorts, too. I want to do a masters in something I’m terribly passionate about.

          • Oh good. I’m kind of glad to hear I’m not the only one with a box :)
            I think there are several good (budget) graduate schools in Tokyo, so I’ve been thinking recently it’s a perfect time to get a Masters…
            Are there any good schools in your areas?

          • It’s amazing to me that tuition in Japan is cheap! I thought it was nuts but I guess compared to the US, it’s a steal?? Canada has so many good schools with both online and regular programs. It’s just a matter of choosing. Maybe I’m out to lunch but I think quality is also consistent overall.
            Go for it! I wasn’t joking when I said I’d love to read your undergrad work. The topics sound really interesting if you decide to build on those. Otherwise the world is filled with cool topics to explore!

          • Awwww, thanks :)
            I’ve actually been flirting with the idea of posting one of my graduation theses online (I posted the other one, about the Aum Shinrikyo while I was on my honeymoon. It was long enough to break into 7 pieces and spread out over the 6 weeks of vacation, so I could have a break while travelling).
            But the unposted one was about sex trafficking and hostesses, so I’m expecting a bit of a firestorm/trolls if I decide to post it… so… yeah…

          • Oh goodness, yes. I can imagine that and it’s a pity. Important topics should be allowed their space but are sadly not permitted by the cloak of anonymity. I want to check out your Aum piece(s). By the way, do you have a search box somewhere?

          • Not yet… I really do need to put a search box back in.
            But here are the archives:
            http://howibecametexan.com/category/thesis-aum-shinrikyo/

            Go easy on me – I’m not very good at technical writing and, because it was a thesis paper, wasn’t able to inject any humor into it… so it’s a bit bland.

          • No worries. :D I don’t expect humour with technical content and especially not with a subject like that. However, if all the academic journals I read in school *were* humorous… well, actually I’m not sure what I would do. Read more?? I love journals and started school before the days of electronic versions (I know – I’m OLD :D) and one of my favorite activities was pulling random journals off the shelf and flipping through them. So much interesting content!! And a great way to avoid doing what I was in the library to do.

          • Hahaha. That’s hilarious.
            So much of my personality has been shaped by the internet, so I’m curious to see how I would have developed (or my friends would have developed) without wide-spread access to humor and satirical articles (you know, the “bite size” ones that are easy to scan and absorb, several times a day).
            Reading “dry” pieces is a lost art, I guess.

          • Perhaps! I never thought of that. :D Kind of like the long form essay? I can’t remember where I read that these essays were making a comeback. And… I also read somewhere that reading has increased due to the web and that some people are rising up against low quality content infiltrating every corner of the internet. Now, where did I read all this….

          • I can believe it. I think I’ve read a couple similar articles…

          • (also, one of my European friends always complains about how expensive Japanese tuition is. And I’m always like “have you SEEN America….? 5000USD for one year is CHEAP.The college I went to was 54,000 a year [granted, I had a full ride, so I didn’t have to pay that, but still…])

  19. Popular blog huh. Of course I agree, it’s great to have this experience and improve one’s self esteem.

    But hey tell me, is the whole tattoo ban rumor really enforced at Japanese onsens…?

  20. Agreed, I think a combination of onsen and age have been instrumental in making me care less about supposed imperfections :)

    • Well said. These imperfections are all supposed anyways – I’m actually kind of proud of some of my scars.
      While they might look a bit weird at the beach, they are totally normal at onsen :)

  21. I really really want to do that to get rid of my body issues. Seriously, it sounds like a perfect place to me. I’ve been only to Tokyo for the weekend, but if I ever come back to Japan, Japanese Onse experience is a must!

    • Yes please! You should definitely try it :)

      And it’s always fun to soak in the different “flavor” baths (cherry blossom, salt, outdoor, etc). It can be a bit pricey for the larger places, but you can always get a ticket to a smaller one for like 200yen (like 2USD).
      I’ve heard they also have wonderful baths in Korea, if that’s on your list of places to visit.

  22. This is exactly how I felt when I went to Japan and tried the onsen for the first time. It was hard explaining it to my friends and putting it into words. I felt like for the first time, my body was okay, just the way it was. Everyone is different. It is actually so very freeing and strange. To be naked but feel so comfortable and at peace with yourself. Japanese Onsen healed my heart too.

    • I’m really glad to hear.
      I think Japanese Onsen really did heal my heart too – not all at once, but bit by bit.

      I had a difficult time writing this (like 5-6 drafts, because I couldn’t convey the feeling). It’s so hard to put that feeling into words!

      • That’s really beautiful.

        I understand what you mean. A lot of my Canadian friends find the idea of being naked with a bunch of other people so embarrassing but maybe once they discover what it does for your heart they could understand the accepting and positive environment.

  23. Going to a public bath is one of the best experiences one can have. Like you said, it helps with body image, but more importantly, shows how hung up many are on nakedness. We all come into the world that way and there’s nothing wrong with it.

    Glad your experience was so positive.

    • Right?

      Looking back, I realize how hung up we (Americans) are about being naked. Like, nakedness is normal. Bodies are bodies. No reason to be embarrassed or ashamed of it – it’s totally natural.

      Is it the same for guys at Onsen?

  24. I’ve never been to a Japanese Onsen, but when you’re at a Chinese spa with bath tubs or just in the shower rooms, everyone runs around undressed too. It seems to be one of the few places in China where other women don’t stare at me because I’m a foreigner. Probably because it would be really rude to stare at a naked person. I never liked going to mixed saunas, but only-female places are okay (just like you, I wasn’t comfortable with that at all when I was younger).

    • They have mixed saunas in China? Wow.
      I don’t know of any mixed-gender onsens in Japan (I’ve heard they exist… but I will believe it when I see it).

      The most I’ve ever been stared at was when a little girl asked her mom why my nipples looked different than a Japanese persons. The mom got super embarrassed but I thought it was kind of funny…

  25. Anonymous // 30 June, 2014 at 3:37 am //

    I’m about to turn 31 and am just becoming comfortable with my body. I have really bad anxiety as well, and I spent so long absolutely despising myself. It uses up so much energy to have that mental war with yourself all the time. It’s pretty freeing to loosen up on that vitrol. I hope someday to actually love myself, but, right now I’m just working on hating myself less. I think it’s really cool that you were able to learn to do this so young.

    • Body image issues are one of those things that doesn’t seem to “get better” as you get older (until you’re like a sassy old grandma and just don’t care).

      I was always super impressed that I never heard a negative statement about her body from my mother. She also rarely wore makeup and continues to radiate this amazing confidence.

      I think it’s small steps. If you can just hate your body (and yourself) a little bit less each week, after a couple of years, you can see a difference. But it’s a long, hard road and it’s so easy to slip and slide back downhill…

  26. It is always interesting when people from the US write about such experiences. I think barely anyone for example from northern Europe and many other European countries would think this worthwhile to mention as it is here just “normal”. I am not talking about mixed baths of course, but for example here in Finland everyone is naked in the showers and saunas before dressing up to go to the public swimming pool. I could mention many more example but I guess you get my idea :)

    As you wrote, you see all kinds of different people there and will feel either more comfortable with your own body or the exact opposite

    • Total agreement with CrazyChineseFamily! Growing up mostly in Europe and returning to Sweden often, it was pretty much normal to be around other naked women and girls for me. I was always surprised (and still am) with how my North American friends (<-by far the majority) react at the idea of being naked in front of others. Of course everyone has their limits and shouldn't be forced our of their comfort zones, but sometimes simply reminding someone that there are no stakes and nothing to prove to anyone seems to help. I guess the phrase "Everybody is different" doesn't really hit home until you see people without their crutches (clothing, make up etc). ^^

      I'm glad you found your onsen groove, Grace! ^^

      • It’s weird – because I don’t feel awkward being naked around people anymore. And when my American friends visit, I’m always really surprised by people’s reaction in Onsen the first time (kind of forgetting I used to feel that way too).

        After a while, I guess I learned that it’s not embarassing to be naked. It’s not shameful. I shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed of my naked body.
        It’s just a body.
        Everyone has one.

        No need to make a big deal about it.

        • That’s an awesome revelation to have experienced, and hopefully the more people who do (along with a lot of other factors), the less body/fat shaming we’ll eventually have. Because seriously, like you said, everyone has one so it shouldn’t be a big deal. :)

          • Pretty much.
            Body/fat shaming drives me crazy. Ugh.
            I’m making an effort to buy less fashion magazines/change the channel when I feel uncomfortable/sad about myself. I think it’s helping…?

    • Actually, now that you mention it, I remember when I was like 12 with my family in Germany (?) – during a Europe road trip – where we all went to the public bath. Everyone was naked and walking around in the showers before putting on a suit.

      My sister and I waited in line for the bathroom and changed in the comfort of a stall.

  27. Anonymous // 30 June, 2014 at 1:37 am //

    Most of the world is like this, open to our body and walking butt-ass naked to the river to take a bath along with everyone else. Please, Grace you shouldn’t worry your a beauty! You can pull it off without makeup, I seen some of your pix. Some girls if not most girls need makeup. I hate makeup, hate it with a passion. I don’t mind a little lipstick. Speaking of lips, your lips… :) full lips, I like that, lol. Surprise to see a white girl with full natural lips. SAY CHEESE! Where the public nude pix!? Lol.

  28. Anonymous // 30 June, 2014 at 1:09 am //

    I’m glad you brought this up. This is actually exactly what I thought after I experienced hot springs for the first time :)

    For the first time, I saw what women really looked like behind all the clothes and make-up. It made me realise that it was okay to be imperfect because we’re all just human and our awkward parts and flaws make us who we are.

    • Yeah. That’s pretty much what I went through.

      I think the most shocking was some time like 2 years ago, when the woman next to me literally looked flawless. And we both ended up at the showers and then the baths at the same time – and I stopped “comparing myself” to her and/or silently hating her for being so flawless.

      She was just another person.
      Sometime about being a “blank canvas” makes it easier to see other people as people and not competition.

  29. for us female, it’s little bit like a catharsis. but if you look at the guys (based on the example of my husband and his friends) it’s a penis-size contests. …. I have no further comments :D

  30. Anonymous // 30 June, 2014 at 12:07 am //

    I had the same experience at the Korean hot baths.

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